This charmer by Wislawa Szymborska, from "Monologue of the Dog."
A Little Girl Tugs At The Tablecloth
She's been in this world for over a year,
and in this world not everything's been examined
and taken in hand.
The subject of today's investigation
is things that don't move by themselves.
They need to be helped along,
shoved, shifted,
taken from their place and relocated.
They don't all want to go, e.g., the bookshelf,
the cupboard, the unyielding walls, the table.
But the table cloth on the stubborn table
-- when well-seized by its hems --
manifests a willingness to travel.
And the glasses, plates,
creamer, spoons, bowl,
are fairly shaking with desire.
Sunday, October 09, 2011
Friday, October 07, 2011
Molly McGillicuddy Malone
Calhoun’s Can(n)ons for Oct. 7, 2011
In Dublin’s Fair City,
Where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone
It was the petal ears and the dark liquid eyes, I suppose, that first caught my attention. And that “look” that spoke of the age-old woe of a good girl fallen on hard times. And the back story that resonated with me since her fate was a reversal on my other rescued racing greyhound, The Mighty Finn McCool. Finn’s mother had died of neglect shortly after giving birth at the track in Caliente, her pups tossed aside to die until the angels from the Greyhound Adoption Center in El Cajon swooped down to rescue them. In this case, Molly was raced while pregnant, then when her condition was discovered, she was discarded. But, unlike Finn’s mother, she didn’t die. Instead, she would end up giving birth to three healthy pups, nurse them tenderly until they were ready to be adopted to wonderful new homes, and then have her photo peer out at me from a GAC email to trigger a goofy conceit on my part.
You know the old joke? Play a country western song backwards and the wife comes back, the dog doesn’t die, the pickup truck runs again and the booze stays in the bottle. With Molly’s brindle striping, she looked like Finn’s twin, so I thought, wouldn’t it be fun to symbolically unspool Finn’s song: his mother wouldn’t die but would, instead, come to live with him forever and ever. Silly? Yes, but there it was.
As she wheel’d her wheel barrow
Through Streets broad and narrow
So I contacted Barbara VanDeventer, the local GAC representative and once Molly’s puppies had been sent to their new homes and she had been spayed, Barbara and I headed to Kettleman City to meet Jim Howell, GAC’s volunteer transporter. When we got home, Candy and Phil, my greyhound-owning neighbors came by to help with our introductions, a meet ‘n greet walkabout, one by one, until we had the whole gang walking as a pack up and down the street. Then, all in a line, two by two, we kept walking right into the house and out into the backyard before any of my dogs could even think about defending “their” territory.
And with only a few brief snarks at the other dogs for unauthorized butt-sniffing, Molly slid into the pack like she had lived here for years. Even Zuri, the Sloughi, a breed that is the canine version of a crow -- new-adverse and suspicious of all things—took to Molly like a long lost sister. And in no time they were play-bowing and hip-bumping and racing down the breezeway to fly out into the yard with a bound. Finn, of course, was ecstatic at his new fake Mom, a mom small enough to walk under her very, very tall fake son.
Crying cockles and mussels alive, alive o!
And so the dynamic and energy of the household shimmered briefly then parted and sweet Molly McGillicuddy Malone slipped in without a ripple. Even a trip to the dog park jammed nose to tail into the back of my Tall Dog Car with the other thugs couldn’t ruffle her composure since it turns out she’s also a great Rider In Cars.
So there it was. From a silly conceit to a lovely reality, all because she’s a good girl, our Molly is. And why shouldn’t she be? After all, the McGillicuddy clan motto is Sursum Corda – “Hearts Upward.”
Alive, alive o!, alive, alive o!
Crying cockles and mussels alive, alive o!
In Dublin’s Fair City,
Where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone
It was the petal ears and the dark liquid eyes, I suppose, that first caught my attention. And that “look” that spoke of the age-old woe of a good girl fallen on hard times. And the back story that resonated with me since her fate was a reversal on my other rescued racing greyhound, The Mighty Finn McCool. Finn’s mother had died of neglect shortly after giving birth at the track in Caliente, her pups tossed aside to die until the angels from the Greyhound Adoption Center in El Cajon swooped down to rescue them. In this case, Molly was raced while pregnant, then when her condition was discovered, she was discarded. But, unlike Finn’s mother, she didn’t die. Instead, she would end up giving birth to three healthy pups, nurse them tenderly until they were ready to be adopted to wonderful new homes, and then have her photo peer out at me from a GAC email to trigger a goofy conceit on my part.
You know the old joke? Play a country western song backwards and the wife comes back, the dog doesn’t die, the pickup truck runs again and the booze stays in the bottle. With Molly’s brindle striping, she looked like Finn’s twin, so I thought, wouldn’t it be fun to symbolically unspool Finn’s song: his mother wouldn’t die but would, instead, come to live with him forever and ever. Silly? Yes, but there it was.
As she wheel’d her wheel barrow
Through Streets broad and narrow
So I contacted Barbara VanDeventer, the local GAC representative and once Molly’s puppies had been sent to their new homes and she had been spayed, Barbara and I headed to Kettleman City to meet Jim Howell, GAC’s volunteer transporter. When we got home, Candy and Phil, my greyhound-owning neighbors came by to help with our introductions, a meet ‘n greet walkabout, one by one, until we had the whole gang walking as a pack up and down the street. Then, all in a line, two by two, we kept walking right into the house and out into the backyard before any of my dogs could even think about defending “their” territory.
And with only a few brief snarks at the other dogs for unauthorized butt-sniffing, Molly slid into the pack like she had lived here for years. Even Zuri, the Sloughi, a breed that is the canine version of a crow -- new-adverse and suspicious of all things—took to Molly like a long lost sister. And in no time they were play-bowing and hip-bumping and racing down the breezeway to fly out into the yard with a bound. Finn, of course, was ecstatic at his new fake Mom, a mom small enough to walk under her very, very tall fake son.
Crying cockles and mussels alive, alive o!
And so the dynamic and energy of the household shimmered briefly then parted and sweet Molly McGillicuddy Malone slipped in without a ripple. Even a trip to the dog park jammed nose to tail into the back of my Tall Dog Car with the other thugs couldn’t ruffle her composure since it turns out she’s also a great Rider In Cars.
So there it was. From a silly conceit to a lovely reality, all because she’s a good girl, our Molly is. And why shouldn’t she be? After all, the McGillicuddy clan motto is Sursum Corda – “Hearts Upward.”
Alive, alive o!, alive, alive o!
Crying cockles and mussels alive, alive o!
Wednesday, October 05, 2011
Well, That Limb Mother Calhoun Went Out On Sure Wasn't A Very Long One, Was It?
Stuck at home while Kirk (Estero Bay Plumbers) was installing a new kitchen sink, at 1:30 pm., as announced, I tuned in the BOS meeting on the radio, curious to hear County Administrator Jim Grant's report on the Paavo Ogren/Maria Kelly Mess.
Why did I tune in at 1:30? Well, said Bob Cuddy's Tribune Sept 30 story, , "It is my intention to report out after closed session, " County Administrator Jim Grant wrote in an email to The Tribune. Closed session takes place after the morning session of the Bord of Supervisors and the report starts the afternoon meeting at 1:30. p.m."
So, naturally, any Los Osos folks interested in this issue would show up in the morning, waaaaay, waaaay before the official 1:30 report-out time, because they would know that the BOS would have arranged to have Mr. Grant report out in the morning, waaaay, waaay before the announced time, thus making sure nobody from Los Osos would be in the audience. Then, in the afternoon, after closed session, oh, along about 1:30 p.m. the folks in the audience who specifically came to hear that issue would ask, "Hey, where's the report," only to be told, "Oh, we gave that report this morning, waaaay, waaaay before any of you guys showed up, so, sorry, you're too late, there will be no report now, so shut up and go away, thank you."
To which several Los Osos folks objected. Linde Owen even politely raised a point of order, in fact, only to be gaveled down by Chairman Hill. Mr. Grant did chime in to say he'd be happy to talk to audience members in the hallway, (away from the microphones and TV), which is how the County clearly wanted to handle this whole mess -- bury it out of sight with a brief 2 page report, declare there was no conflict at all, and above all, allow no questions in public. Which is how the BOS likes to do business when one of their own steps in it.
Declared Chairman Hill after gaveling down the few irate commentors from the audience, "What's a Board of Supervisors meeting without a little bitterness?"
Really? Bitterness? Well, Mr. Hill., let me suggest a reason for the ire. Let's start with declaring that you're preparing an above board, transparent report, that the report will be presented at a time and placed announced, the public will be allowed to review the report and offer public comment, exactly like you handle all other issues, and then you switch the time so there would be no transparency, no public comment, only citizens chatting with your CEO in the hallway. Ya think that might account for some . . . bitterness, eh?
Well, Mother Calhoun is not surprised by any of this in the least, especially not the old switcheroo without notice. Par for the course. And so we all troop off into the happy sunset, all smiley-faced, job well done.
Except for Paavo. This stupid mess made his employers look bad, look foolish, caused them to engage in the ridiculous ruse of shuffling presentation times so as to reduce the possibility that a public hearing would make them look even more foolish. Afraid the public would drag up all kinds of troubling issues they do not want paraded in public. Employers don't like knowing that one of their bright, shining stars' messy private life has exposed them to a public mess, exposed them to embarassing questions in the public mind such as, "Why'd the heck did you hire that guy?" Employers will remember that and consider, behind closed doors, during private employee evaluation reviews, that perhaps their fair-haired boy doesn't have the kind of mature judgement required for promotion up the line. That he's demonstrated that he's a liability to them. That perhaps it's time for him to consider employment somewhere else since his trajectory upwards in this County is over.
Well, now it's all back to business as usual, here in SLO County. It's how we roll. And comes as absolutely no surprise to anyone living in Los Osos.
Why did I tune in at 1:30? Well, said Bob Cuddy's Tribune Sept 30 story, , "It is my intention to report out after closed session, " County Administrator Jim Grant wrote in an email to The Tribune. Closed session takes place after the morning session of the Bord of Supervisors and the report starts the afternoon meeting at 1:30. p.m."
So, naturally, any Los Osos folks interested in this issue would show up in the morning, waaaaay, waaaay before the official 1:30 report-out time, because they would know that the BOS would have arranged to have Mr. Grant report out in the morning, waaaay, waaay before the announced time, thus making sure nobody from Los Osos would be in the audience. Then, in the afternoon, after closed session, oh, along about 1:30 p.m. the folks in the audience who specifically came to hear that issue would ask, "Hey, where's the report," only to be told, "Oh, we gave that report this morning, waaaay, waaaay before any of you guys showed up, so, sorry, you're too late, there will be no report now, so shut up and go away, thank you."
To which several Los Osos folks objected. Linde Owen even politely raised a point of order, in fact, only to be gaveled down by Chairman Hill. Mr. Grant did chime in to say he'd be happy to talk to audience members in the hallway, (away from the microphones and TV), which is how the County clearly wanted to handle this whole mess -- bury it out of sight with a brief 2 page report, declare there was no conflict at all, and above all, allow no questions in public. Which is how the BOS likes to do business when one of their own steps in it.
Declared Chairman Hill after gaveling down the few irate commentors from the audience, "What's a Board of Supervisors meeting without a little bitterness?"
Really? Bitterness? Well, Mr. Hill., let me suggest a reason for the ire. Let's start with declaring that you're preparing an above board, transparent report, that the report will be presented at a time and placed announced, the public will be allowed to review the report and offer public comment, exactly like you handle all other issues, and then you switch the time so there would be no transparency, no public comment, only citizens chatting with your CEO in the hallway. Ya think that might account for some . . . bitterness, eh?
Well, Mother Calhoun is not surprised by any of this in the least, especially not the old switcheroo without notice. Par for the course. And so we all troop off into the happy sunset, all smiley-faced, job well done.
Except for Paavo. This stupid mess made his employers look bad, look foolish, caused them to engage in the ridiculous ruse of shuffling presentation times so as to reduce the possibility that a public hearing would make them look even more foolish. Afraid the public would drag up all kinds of troubling issues they do not want paraded in public. Employers don't like knowing that one of their bright, shining stars' messy private life has exposed them to a public mess, exposed them to embarassing questions in the public mind such as, "Why'd the heck did you hire that guy?" Employers will remember that and consider, behind closed doors, during private employee evaluation reviews, that perhaps their fair-haired boy doesn't have the kind of mature judgement required for promotion up the line. That he's demonstrated that he's a liability to them. That perhaps it's time for him to consider employment somewhere else since his trajectory upwards in this County is over.
Well, now it's all back to business as usual, here in SLO County. It's how we roll. And comes as absolutely no surprise to anyone living in Los Osos.
Sunday, October 02, 2011
Your Sunday Poem
This from Billy Collins, "Taking Off Emily Dickinson's Clothes."
Memento Mori
There is no need for me to keep a skull on my desk,
to stand with one foot up on the ruins of Rome,
or wear a locket with the sliver of a saint's bone.
It is enough to realize that every common object
in this sunny little room will outlive me --
the carpet, radio, bookstand and rocker.
Not one of these things will attend my burial,
not even this dented goosenecked lamp
with its steady benediction of light,
though I could put worse things in my mind
than the image of it waddling across the cemetery
like an old servant, dragging the tail of its cord,
the small circle of mourners parting to make room.
Memento Mori
There is no need for me to keep a skull on my desk,
to stand with one foot up on the ruins of Rome,
or wear a locket with the sliver of a saint's bone.
It is enough to realize that every common object
in this sunny little room will outlive me --
the carpet, radio, bookstand and rocker.
Not one of these things will attend my burial,
not even this dented goosenecked lamp
with its steady benediction of light,
though I could put worse things in my mind
than the image of it waddling across the cemetery
like an old servant, dragging the tail of its cord,
the small circle of mourners parting to make room.
Saturday, October 01, 2011
Mother Calhoun Goes Out On A Limb
So, I get home from a visit to my sister and there's the Trib's local page headline: "Report set on Public Works head." Ah, yes, the Paavo & Maria story is heading to it's official end when Tuesday afternoon County Administrator Jim Grant issues his official investigative report on the claims that Paavo Ogren and Maria Kelly's private canoodling involved any professional conflict of interests. The report is slated to start at 1:30 p.m. Tuesday,Oct 4.
Based on the Tribune story and from what Mother Calhoun knows of both the Los Osos Sewer Wars and the County's business-as-usual M.O., let me speculate that here's what will Happen Tuesday. 1) Paavo won't be fired. 2) The report will find no conflict of interest, no laws broken. The public will be told that everything is fine, that the complaints were unfounded (You know how those Los Osos Crazies love to file unfounded complaints.) Nothing to see here. Move along.
Of course, the second cat was let out of the bag by the brief Tribune story: "Grant said the alleged conflict factored into Ogren's annual performance evaluation but only in a larger context that also includes work products, leadership abilities, budgeting and feedback from staff, peers and the board, etc. So, yes this issue would be included as part of the annual evaluation," he wrote in an email, " but weighted based upon its overall significance determined by my findings."
Translation: Paavo's career advancement in this County just hit its glass ceiling because his reckless, unprofessional lack of judgement went public and so this couldn't possibly have been swept under the "personnel rug" so everyone could just continue with business as usual. So, after a decent interval, I suspect we may well read about Paavo accepting another well-paid job in another county so he can become their lawsuit-in-waiting problem. In SLOTown, there will be public smiles and congratulations to Paavo about his new job. Followed by lots of private sighs of relief that once again, SLOTown ducked a bullet.
On the entertainment side of this sorry story, if public comment is allowed on Tuesday following the report, there could be lots of raised voices, gavel banging, red faces and threats of adjorning the meeting. Happily, there'll be no hurled chairs, though, since the seats in the BOS room are bolted to the floor.
Based on the Tribune story and from what Mother Calhoun knows of both the Los Osos Sewer Wars and the County's business-as-usual M.O., let me speculate that here's what will Happen Tuesday. 1) Paavo won't be fired. 2) The report will find no conflict of interest, no laws broken. The public will be told that everything is fine, that the complaints were unfounded (You know how those Los Osos Crazies love to file unfounded complaints.) Nothing to see here. Move along.
Of course, the second cat was let out of the bag by the brief Tribune story: "Grant said the alleged conflict factored into Ogren's annual performance evaluation but only in a larger context that also includes work products, leadership abilities, budgeting and feedback from staff, peers and the board, etc. So, yes this issue would be included as part of the annual evaluation," he wrote in an email, " but weighted based upon its overall significance determined by my findings."
Translation: Paavo's career advancement in this County just hit its glass ceiling because his reckless, unprofessional lack of judgement went public and so this couldn't possibly have been swept under the "personnel rug" so everyone could just continue with business as usual. So, after a decent interval, I suspect we may well read about Paavo accepting another well-paid job in another county so he can become their lawsuit-in-waiting problem. In SLOTown, there will be public smiles and congratulations to Paavo about his new job. Followed by lots of private sighs of relief that once again, SLOTown ducked a bullet.
On the entertainment side of this sorry story, if public comment is allowed on Tuesday following the report, there could be lots of raised voices, gavel banging, red faces and threats of adjorning the meeting. Happily, there'll be no hurled chairs, though, since the seats in the BOS room are bolted to the floor.
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