Gone, Baby, Gone

Calhoun’s Cannons for October 23, 2012

            For months, candidate Mitt Romney has been going around the country attacking President Obama’s foreign policy.  It was wrong headed, incorrect, unraveling, dangerous, unworkable, terrible, terrible, just awful.  Then, at last night’s final presidential debate, there occurred a weird transformation:  Mitt Romney etched his last sketch and in front of millions of viewers, -- Poof! –  turned himself into Mister Me Too.  Talk about “no daylight” between him and Obama on foreign policy.  Suddenly, he was out-Obamaing Obama, which must have given Mitt’s 17 former Bush NeoCon PNAC foreign policy advisors heart failure. “No! No! Mitt, you’re the Severely Conservative  Bomb Iran Pax Americana Guy, remember?”   

            And once again, Romney continued to spout fake stuff like the untrue and repeatedly debunked “Obama apology tour,” and throughout the debate, when Obama referred to Mitt’s many previous statements and changing positions, Mitt looked right into the camera with that strangely smirky small smile and repeatedly and sincerely claimed that he always never didn’t say whatever it was he actually had said previously.  Which caused me to holler at the screen, “Doesn’t this guy know about videotape?”  Followed by, “Oh, Boy, wait until Jon Stewart gets ahold of this one.”

            Equally creepy was listening to Romney start in on one of his nervous riffs ‘splaining his view of the Middle East, for example, and thinking how much like Sarah Palin he was.  When she tried to wade into a complex issue, she always gave me the sense that she was winging it.  That she was a person without a deep background understanding of an issue, but rather, was like a student who had crammed for a written exam and had just enough of a grasp of the key phrases and buzz words that would let her skate by with a “C.” Which is fine for a student, but not so fine for a President. And didn’t work out too well for Ms. Palin either.

            But the evening did have a “zinger:” Mitt insisting that when he was President, he’d buy the Navy more ships.  At which point, President Obama snarkily reminded him that times have changed and that just looking at the numbers of things isn’t a smart defense strategy for the future.  The Army has fewer horses and bayonets than it used to,  but that didn’t mean it needs more horses and bayonets now.

            But I’m not sure that practical observation holds much weight with Romney and the Republicans since it has long been clear to me that if there’s one thing right-wing Republicans in general fear most, it’s being seen as “weak.” Not actually weak, just appearing to be weak. Get two far right Republican candidates on stage and they’ll out-belligerent each other right into the realm of the ridiculous – I’ll buy six battleships!  Yeah, well, I’ll buy six battleships AND 10,000 horses and sabers!  But while constant blustering rhetoric, saber-rattling, NeoCon hostile threats, and the belief that only an excessively armed belligerent America can “lead” the world may work on the campaign trail, it makes for bad governance and ginned up wars.  As we have found out, to our sorrow.

            Well, debates are theatre and in this case, it turned into the theatre of the absurd.  By the end Mitt Romney had again dishonestly denied himself, again, and then disappeared before our eyes into Me Too Guy.  And then, in an act of astounding hubris, looked right into the camera at the American people and said that if elected President, he’d “lead in an open and honest way.”

            “Open and Honest?”  WTF??

            Right now, the various polls show that it’s nearly a dead heat between these two men.  If the numbers remain the same after tonight’s debate, then half the voters in this country need to answer one incredibly important question:  Exactly who/what/which Romney are you voting for now?  Does anybody know?  I sure don’t.

            President Obama has repeatedly said that this election will determine the future direction of America.  He’s right about that.  So far, our record hasn’t been too promising.  We’re Clueless Jingo Nation – so poorly informed about the world we live in that too many of us think Iranians are Arabs and Sikhs are Muslims.  We’re  Alzheimer Nation – can’t remember even recent history and so repeat it.  We’re  Battered Wife Nation – don’t believe we deserve anything more than abusive trickle-down crap and every few years, having learned nothing, we return again and again to Handsome Wall Street Suit Guy who says he’s sorry and won’t loot our bank accounts again, until he does and we go- Boo-Hoo, then wash, rinse and repeat.

            Nope.  Not too promising.  Which means it’s going to be a long two weeks and Jon Stewart’s going to be in comedic hog heaven.  

           

              

           

Last Debate Tonight

If you're planning on watching the debate tonight, you might want to read Cesar Millan's comments at

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cesar-millan/if-dogs-could-vote-why-we_b_1963007.html

So, prepare the popcorn, invite your best friend into the room, turn the sound down and watch Mitt Romney and President Obama's body language the way a dog would.  

To me, one of the very first things I noticed about skittery-jittery Mitt is how much he reminded me of skittery-jittery George Bush.  Here are two men who are very uncomfortable in their own skins, especially when under stress.  In a Commander in Chief, that can't possibly end well.

Your Sunday Poem

This lovely little memory snapshot is by Charles Simic, from his book, "Master of Disguises." 

The Melon

There was a melon fresh from the garden
So ripe the knife slurped
As it cut it into six slices.
The children were going back to school.
Their mother, passing out paper plates,
Would not live to see the leaves fall.

I remember a hornet, too, that flew in
Through the open window
Mad to taste the sweet fruit
While we ducked and screamed,
Covered our heads and faces,
And sat laughing after it was gone.

Smackdown Reboot

Calhoun’s Cannons for Oct 17, 2012

Well, that old saying is true:  When you want something done right, send in a woman. In this case, two of ‘em.  Unlike Jim Lehrer, Martha Raddatz and Candy Crowley managed to do the impossible: Keep two circling sleek, well-dressed, surface-polite Dobermans from peeing on each others shoes.

As theatre of the absurd, you can’t beat our Presidential Debates, Town Hall Version.  The beautiful stage, the hand-picked, rehearsed and vetted audience, the whole thing scripted like a piece of Kabuki Theatre.  But, c’mon, America, we gotta up our game.  Here was a once-in-a-lifetime chance for Mr. John Q. Citizen to ask a serious question of both a candidate and a President, and we get some doofus whining about how the Secretary of Energy told him that it wasn’t this administration’s responsibility to do anything about gas prices and could this possibly be true, O woe?  

People, people.  Really? Gas prices?  Secretary of Energy?  This is gas-guzzler America, home of ruthless, winner-take-all capitalism, where Free Market Rules rule, where we love our price-gougers and rip-off commodity speculators, and now we have this guy on national TV whining about gas prices?  Like he thinks the President is some kind of dreary Soviet five-year planner who should take over Exxon Mobil and show up at this guy’s local Gas ‘N Go with a screw driver to reset pump prices? Oh, Plueeze.

But that’s how much of the evening went, hand-picked questions that allowed the candidates to conveniently hang themselves in velvet ropes of clichés while the real 600 pound gorillas sat quietly off stage, untouched.

Like a Republican Congress of NO with only one stated goal: Defeat Obama by any means necessary.  Pretty hard to do much of anything to help a foundering country with that millstone around your neck.  Or income disparities that are a worsening drain on the economy and a real threat to America’s unique promise: upward mobility.  Or global warming, the mother of all gorillas coming down on us fast, a gorilla that will make jobs and gas prices – and everything else – moot. Or a realistic, grown-up discussion about our gazillion-dollar debt that wasn’t full of fairy stories about how we can all make it disappear while still getting lots of tax breaks and free pudding. You know, grown-up topics that needed grown-up answers.  Instead we get whines about gas prices.

And theatre, which did have its moments. Candidate Mitt was back doing his anxious little boy routine from the first debate, fairly hopping up and down promising the moon, a long litany of,  I can do it, I can create jobs, I know how, I do, I do, I do, I know how, the middle class is crushed, I can get all the oil we need, I can do it, crushed middle class, I know how, crushed, I’ll lower the rates, crushed, millions of jobs, lower taxes, more crushed, jobs, I can, I can, plueeze, plueeze, until Crowley had to tell him to hush up and go take his seat, which he finally did.

Amusingly, Candidate Mitt’s crowded litany of his own glorious campaign promises was often juxtaposed with his long j’accuse litany of candidate Obama’s unfulfilled glorious

campaign promises of four years ago, but at no time did I ever get a sense that Mitt understood the delicious irony of those juxtapositions: The huge difference between campaign promises (past and present) and real world governance.

Not so amusing was Mitt having to be fact-checked on air by Moderator Crowley.  If there’s one thing vital in a Commander in Chief, it’s the ability to make sure he’s got the facts straight before speaking or acting.  Mitt had already gotten smacked for rushing into the initial muddle of the Libyan terrorist attack even before he knew what the facts were and here he was again, weeks later, still unclear of the events. Not good, even for an Etch-A-Sketch candidate.  Hourly changeable campaign promises are one thing; Wrong facts about terror attacks are quite another.

But Democrats were happy.  The President was awake this time and ready for a smackdown and now the media, which never met a sports metaphor it didn’t love, will be filled with zinging sound bites and fact-checking wonkery, all of which will be endlessly repeated in order to gin up ratings for the last big showdown before the Big Race. 

Which likely will be a squeaker, given how divided this country is.  But until the voters understand that if they want those 600 pound gorillas dealt with, they’ve got to vote into office a better grade of Congressmen.  If they don’t, those gorillas will still be there, growing bigger and more dangerous every year. And in a few years, when some guy stands up again to whine about gas prices, their response won’t be pretty. 

  

   

El Chorro Dog Park 11th Anniversary Celebration

If you have a dog, grab him or her and head over to El Chorro Regional Park (across from Cuesta College off Hwy 1) for the SLO-4-PUPs Off Leash Dog Park's fund-raiser and 11th Anniversary Celebration on Saturday Oct 20 from 10 - 2.  There will be hot dogs, sodas, cake and lots of dogs. The El Chorro Dog Park was the county's very first fenced off-leash park (there are now 8), and was built and is run and maintained by volunteers, donors, and dog park visitors.

So, grab the pooch and head over for a romp.