Calhouns Can(n)ons

Oh, Look, Mommy, it’s the old wallet in the street full of cash tied to a string and when Old Mr. Harris bends down to pick it up I yank the string and pull the wallet into the bushes, Bwa-hahahahahah!

Yes, folks, the Los Osos Sewerville Gong show continues. This morning’s Tribune headlines, “State Rejects Osos Sewer Deal,” this after a week-long earnest negotiation (Bwa-hahahaha) and a compromise “deal” voted on by the CSD at their Sunday, Oct 30 meeting.

Turns out first of all that the State Board, uh, “forgot” to put the item on their agenda, even as a place marker. (In an October 31 letter to Celeste Cantu, Executive Director of the State Water Resources Control Board, CSD President Schicker queries: “We are unclear as to why this item had not already been agendized for tomorrow’s meeting (November 1, 2005) as we all began acceptance of the negotiation process twelve days ago.” [The Board requires a 10 day agenda notification.] Uh, let’s see, 10 days, 12 days, uh, Gosh, good question.

Another good question is this: The SRF Loan in question is project specific. So why did the State Water Boys even show up for a wasted week of negotiations, then sign off on a tentative “compromise,” in the first place.

Weirder still, this loan amount was vastly increased at the request of the previous CSD and sent down with no secured revenue stream, no Proposiiton 218 vote, and full knowledge that there was a recall pending and letters to the State Board pleading for them to hold off on encumbering this community with that vastly increased loan before the recall election – all of which was totally ignored by the State Water Board at the time. But NOW we hear that the loan can’t possibly be used to keep this project going (but with an out of town treatment plant) because, according to Water Board spokesman, William L. Rukeyser , “We cannot go ahead and risk millions of dollars that belong to the citizens of California.” Bwa-hahahahah. Selective "due dilligence," doncha think?

Mr. Rukeyser is also quoted in the Trib as saying, “If I get a car loan from the bank, I can’t go out and buy a gym set for my kids.” Gym set? Uh, Gee, Mr. Rukeyser, last time I looked, Los Osos got a loan to build a wastewater treatment system and after a week of negotiations, was ready to move ahead on laying pipe which is part and parcel of building a wastewater treatment system, the only difference is the treatment plant itself wouldn’t be located in the middle of town. Mr. Rukeyser’s analogy should have been, “If I get a car loan from the bank and I buy a Pink Cadillac instead of a Blue Cadillac and the loan is secured by my property as collateral, and I repay the bank on time and with interest, why is the bank having a cow? Why should it care whether the Cadillac is pink or blue?”

And finally, said, CSD President Lisa Schicker of the negotiations and compromise plan that was accepted by the CSD, “If they weren’t going to enter into good faith negotiations, what was the purpose of dragging us through this?”

Good question, Lisa. Good question.

At the Oct 30 CSD meeting, someone mentioned Trojan Horses. Gosh, you think?

Well, at this Thursday’s Nov 4 CSD meeting, the Board may have an interesting option to consider: Call the lawyers, (O.K. all you guys who wish to sue us, stop jostling, everybody, take a number and get in line, we'll get to your court cases as they comes up, no hurry, our attorney is on retainer so we've got all the time in the world.) then start setting the CSD’s house in order, start work on penciling out two or three options of sewer plans, including Tri-W and putting Step/Steg back on the table, complete with full long-term operating, maintenance and replacement costs for each system, and a look at possible self-bonding and or builder-designer financing, then present the options to the citizens for a vote to see which one they want to “buy.” (Pink Cadillac? Blue Caddilac? Yellow Yugo?)

Then, while the lawyers spend decades in a futile recreation of Charles Dickens’ Bleak House, Los Osos can get busy building its self-funded, self selected sewer system.

It’s doable if the citizens of our bearish community wish it to be so, which has always been the case.