Thursday, March 05, 2015



When I first read Joe Tarica’s column on our beautiful bridge bear being vandalized, I had a flame of anger.  Then I felt a wave of fatigue and thought, Oh, why bother? This is just another story about another loser asshole in a world filled with loser assholes.  Indeed, we are awash with them.  Some are famous world leaders, others crazed religionists bent on world conquest, but  most are run-of-the-mill annoying bumps on the world's backside.

I'm sure the people who did this, if they're caught, will have some kind of explanation, but you can bet on one thing:  It will be a loser asshole reason – banal beyond belief:  their Mommie didn’t get them the toy they wanted, they’re angry because they didn’t get the job thy delusionally felt they were entitled to, their car wouldn’t start, somebody recognized them for their basic loser assholeness and dissed them, they’re just having a bad day.

I have no doubt there was more than one loser asshole involved in smashing the nose off the bear. Fueled by booze or drugs and their own pathetic sense of self entitlement, they set to work.  I have no doubt either that they thought what they were doing was funny.  Their way of getting back at a world that keenly acknowledges their assholeness.  Take that!  Thinking somehow that this act of stupidity will improve their lives.  Give them some momentary triumph until the sad reality of their looser existence returns.

It’s a dull story, retold all around the world in ugly acts that range from our little bear’s broken nose to the psycopathic hooting of murderous Jihadi pseudo-warriors smashing ancient treasures, and sawing off heads while grinning at the camera.  Look at me! Look at Me!

Asshole losers all. The world is filled with them, more’s the pity.  I can only hope the police catch whoever broughtthis pathetic looserness to our beloved bear.  I suspect, it will be like the last time assholes visited our town and smashed the bear.  They were never caught but the town rallied and raised the money needed to recast and restore our treasure.  The Chamber of Commerce owns the molds and an anonymous donor has offered $1,000 for information leading to the arrest of those responsible.  Additionally, the Chamber may be starting a fund drive to restore out bear.  Contact them at

Let’s hope that the community of good people who live ere are wiling again to do the work needed to overcome the sad effects of loser assholes and a new bear will once again take its place looking out over our splendid marsh. 


Sewertoons AKA Lynette Tornatzky said...

Thanks Ann. Exactly right.

Mike Green said...

This entire article is an affront to everybody that has an asshole. surly there is a descriptive word that describes the complete contempt better, I submit:
Scab pickin
Pepper belly
boot likken
Ass kissing
Well add on.

Churadogs said...

Good list. Unfortunately, Moron won't fit because these people weren't morons. They were, I'm betting, very bright and clever fellows. But you're right in that they are an insult to every actual, literal functioning asshole out there.

But, happy ending for now. The Tribune reports that Dave Doust and his son Kyle Doust have volunteered to replace the snout. Said the Tribune: "Davek Doust is a retired fire captain who works as a concrete sculptor specializing in fountains.") So they've volunteered their time and expertise to do the repair.

God bless them! And Ace Hardware who donated the materials.And Los Osos Rotary President-elect Gary Dove who will fix the control panel that lights the bear. The Chamber of Commerce is taking donations to help pay for the lighting system's replacement. So stop by and toss a few dollars into the kitty.

And thank you to the wonderful folks of my town. And Boooo! Boooo! to the assholes who do nothing but pollute such a wonderful place.

Sewertoons AKA Lynette Tornatzky said...

I drove past the bear statue last night and he is back to his former ursine beauty! Thank you David and Kyle Doust for fixing him, and for being the exact opposite of the sick person(s) who damaged him.

bunchadogs said...

I see that he was fixed.
what ugly behavior, vandalism.