Calhouns Can(n)ons

Yes, Your Honor, I did murder my parents, come to think of it. And, yes, I did kill them so I could spend their money like a drunken sailor. Nevertheless, I’m here in court to plead with you to let me keep on spending all that nice money because, after all, I’m now a poor orphan, Boo-Hoo.

Chutzpah I: The man who kills his parents and then flings himself on the mercy of the court because he’s now a poor orphan lad.

Chutzpah II, Los Osos Style: Recalled Los Osos CSD Director Gordon Hensley, a new group apparently morphed out of the “Save the Dream Coalition,”[Pandora Nash-Karner, Chair of the Dreamers], and Stuart Denker trotted into court this morning to ask Judge Hilton to stop the stand-down order recently voted on by the newly elected CSD Board and put all the contractors back to work pounding even more tax payers’ money into the ground because Gordon & et al were worried that all the previous money that had been pounded into the ground might go to waste.

Forgetting, of course, that it was his decision as a CSD Director to vote with the board majority to set the recall election as late as possible, to absolutely refuse to hold off on starting work on the streets and the Tri-W site before the recall election. In short, to totally ignore the pleas of the community to do nothing irrevocable before the election. Nope, Nope, Nope, said Gordon, let the petal-to-the-metal pounding-of-the-money-in-the-ground begin!

Simply, he was gambling with the taxpayers’ money that the recall would fail. He lost that bet and with it he wasted millions in tax money. Yet there he was in court with his attorney asking for the judge to order the money pounding begin again because the Taxpayers Watch was concerned that tax money was being wasted while the construction crews stood idle, so, what the hell, they should at least keep busy digging useless holes and trenches in the ground for a project that is, for now, dead in the water. So, as near as I could make out, this group feels that the best thing to do in the case of wasted money is to waste even more of it.

After the Taxpayers Watch attorney got through wringing her hands and pulling amazing numbers out of who-knows-where, Mr. Seitz, acting as second chair for the newly appointed temporary CSD’s attorney (who had no chance to get into court since this suit was jammed through so quickly), pointed out that the contractors’ contract contained Section 15, (which Seitz noted he helped write), and that section allowed a 90-day stand-down, no harm, no foul.

The Taxpayers Watch attorney looked startled at the mention of Section 15 and had to sheepishly fess up to the judge that, uh, well, er, um, no, she hadn’t actually read the contract and was unaware of Section 15, but nonethless we were all going to die in the streets like dawgs unless the judge ordered the contractors to stop leaning on their shovels and start digging something in the ground somewhere, Damnit!

Judge Hilton muttered a few words about wanting to proceed carefully since he was ever mindful of the separation of powers (i.e. a judge overturning a decision made by a duly-elected legislative board) and so set Friday, October 7th at 11 a.m. at the Veteran’s Hall in SLOTown for round two.

Meantime, we’re left with the spectacle of Gordon Hensley pretending that this is a legal case with no “dirty hands” involved.

No “dirty hands?” Oh, Gordon, Gordon, what are all those chocolate crumbs doing tumbling down your chin? How did that cookie jar get on the floor? And where in hell are the Oreos, anyway?

As I said, Chutzpah, Los Osos style.