Calhouns Can(n)ons

OH MY GOD, IT'S THE HIDEOUS 35 FOOT TALL STRIP MALL PLOY! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

Loved the recent post-card mailing from the Trust the Truth Crowd. You know the one? Had a lovely, soft-wash watercolor rendering of a bunch of bushes and shrubs and a figure with a dog on a leash on the top part, and beneath that illustration was a stark rendering of rows of GINORMOUS BUILDINGS seemingly marching on forever and ever world without end amen. Beneath the gentle dog-walking landscape the card asked whether you would rather have this lovely landscape of bushes and trees on the Tri W site OR, as shown in the lower panel, the rendering of a dystopian HIDEOUS UGLY-ON-A-STICK GINORMOUS THIRTY-FIVE FOOT TALL STRIP MALL HIDE THE CHILDREN WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE.


Barely showing in the background of the soft-focus sylvan setting ( with dog) was the vaguest outline and hint that there might be, back there behind the veridian wash and scumble, is it? can it be? Oh no, it can't be, yes, it must be ONE OF THOSE FORTY FOOT TALL SEWER TREATMENT PLANT BUILDINGS. (Remember the storey poles stuck up at the Tri W site to try to give the community an indication of how high some of those building were really gonna be since the the original "drop-dead gorgeous and buried" plans turned out to be "bait & switchy" (not buried), but the poles were too thin to support their weight and so bowed down so much that nobody had much idea just how tall things were going to get and instead the whole thing looked like some weird Claus Oldenberg art piece set in a field of veldt grass and everybody whined about the cost of the damned thing that couldn't even be donated to the Met for a tax write off, fer crying out loud?)

Yes, I knew you'd remember. So, there it was, fresh from the mailbox. The recipient of the card, a card from the Trust the Truth Crowd, was being asked to choose between shrubbery with FORTY FOOT TALL SEWER BUILDINGS or THIRTY-FIVE TALL STRIP MALLS!

Fortunately, a few days later, there arrived another card from the Recall Committee Crowd that pointed out that the hideous 35 foot tall strip mall presented on the Trust the Truth Crowd's card was, ummm, let's see if I can put this as nicely as possible, hmmm, well, they used the word "lie," because current zoning puts height limits of 28' feet on any buildings at the site, including hideous strip malls, and noted that even hideous strip malls would have to conform to a bazillion rules on "visually sensitive corridor conditions," and etc.

Well, darn, said I, gazing at the two cards. If I can't trust the Trust the Truth Crowd, who am I gonna trust? Then I remembered the words of that old mot: Never eat at a place called "Mom's," never play cards with a guy named "Slim," and never marry somebody with more problems than you.

To which I will have to add: If somebody asks you to Trust the Truth, you'd better lock up your daughter and count the silverware.

But, I did like the nice drawing the of the dog.