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Thursday, October 26, 2006

Calhoun’s Cannons for The Bay News, Morro Bay, CA
For October 26, 06


Down Time

Ah, how seductive they all are, those bells-and-whistle modern conveniences. How easily they can seduce and then enslave. How simple is the slide from New Toy to Indispensable Companion to Unrelenting Master.

It all began Saturday morning as I sat working at my computer and heard clicking noises coming from the hard drive. You never want to hear clicking sounds coming from your computer, especially not on a Saturday morning.

The clicking noises were followed by The Blue Screen of Death, followed by The Black Screen of White Type That Defieth All Understanding, except for the terrifying realization that the time for comprehension is past and it is now time to turn off the computer and STEP AWAY FROM THE MACHINE!

Then ask the question: Why do computers seem like pets who only get sick when everything’s closed and so make you gamble on the decision, Is this really, reeeeely serious, requiring a very, very expensive trip to the emergency clinic? Or can we all just limp along until Monday?

In my case, the answer was, “Monday,” and so The Teacher arrived and The Lessons began.

First, of course, I had to realize that the high-pitched shrieking that was filling the room was actually coming from me and that the Hubris of Denial -- This can’t be happening to me! I have important things to do, papers to read, people to contact, columns to write, blogs to blog, the game’s afoot, events are unfolding, gotta keep current, stay hooked up, plugged in --was only going to be answered with: Bwa-hahahah. It is and you don’t. Deal with it.

Next came the valuable realization that this hooked-up, plugged-in dance was nothing more than a pathetic addiction. And that the unsettled panic I was feeling was only the withdrawal symptoms of a Busyness Junkie. The Dealer is down. Call rehab.

Worse yet was the insight of just how much this machine has, like Pavlov’s Dog, conditioned and trained me to change the very tempo of my life. An early riser by nature, I was now given a chance to see just how subtly the seductive whisper of the computer has been pushing my wake/work time back further and further into the silent dark hours of the morning. Psst, whispers the machine in the middle of the night, no time to waste. Time to get up. There might be something important, something new in your in-box.

There rarely was, of course, and after several days of no in-box at all, came the humbling realization that Life Goes On just fine without me being in the loop. By this time, I was clear headed enough to know with certainty that even when Steve Vandagriff, The High Tech Paladin who rode to the rescue, finished his work on the ailing hard drive and I could once again drop in, boot up, log on, the very first response from The World would be: You were off-line? We didn’t notice.

Finally, for me, the most oddly comforting Lesson of all was to realize just how easy it is to lose an e-life --letters, columns, documents, records, beloved photos -- all gone in the blink of an eye. There, in high-speed e-form, is the foreshadowed glimpse of our human condition: It all goes.

Paper burns, photos fade and crumble. Our technology cannot save us. One failed connection and all our data disappears in a blink. And the tail-chasing, high-tech futility of “saving” anything becomes comic as our e-memory storage systems remain astonishingly fragile and grow obsolete even before we take them out of the box. Betamax, anyone?

And like our machines, our flesh and blood software can fail spectacularly as well, even on a Saturday morning. A bit of stuck plaque and it’s the Blue Screen of Death. Or simply add the accreted dust of age and the system slows and falls away. Was I ten or twelve when I tumbled off that horse? What was the name of that cute boy at the dance? I’ll never forget. Now, where did I put that photograph? What did you say your name was?

It all goes.

So, for now, with the Blue Screen Blank, there is nothing left for me to do but pour a cup of coffee, and in the quite hours of the morning, listen to the slow, soft scritch of a pen on a blank piece of paper. Starting over in down time.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

what's a pen?

Ron said...

Ann said:

"Life Goes On just fine without me being in the loop."

Are you kidding? My morning reading routine wouldn't be the same. You see, in the "favorites" section of my web browser, I have a folder I call "Newspaper." In it, I have links to the Trib, Google news (for national and international stuff), weather sites, sports sites, and opinion sites -- one of my favorite being Calhouns Can(n)ons.

Am I addicted to my Mac? Yea, probably. But that's the best morning newspaper I've ever had in my life... custom made, just the way I like it, and that includes YOU in the loop.

By the way, as a happy Mac user, just what is this "blue screen of death" I hear so much about?

Time to go check the "classified" section of my "newspaper" -- the free stuff around SLO County on Craig's List. Great fun!

Neo said...

...the tail-chasing, high-tech futility of “saving” anything becomes comic as our e-memory storage systems remain astonishingly fragile and grow obsolete even before we take them out of the box.

Being in the technology field, and having seen my share of hard drive crashes, I should know better. But it's so easy to save those files and assume they'll be there the next time you turn on your PC. From time to time a little voice inspires me to copy my documents to a CD, but sometimes the files I lose are the ones I'd forgotten I had. Losing the CD is another hazard that you realize right after you've emptied your Recycle Bin.

Neo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Churadogs said...

Ron sez:"Ann said:

"Life Goes On just fine without me being in the loop."

Are you kidding? My morning reading routine wouldn't be the same. You see, in the "favorites" section of my web browser, I have a folder I call "Newspaper." In it, I have links to the Trib, Google news (for national and international stuff), weather sites, sports sites, and opinion sites -- one of my favorite being Calhouns Can(n)ons."

I'm very flattered, but "The Teacher" who arrived with The Blue Screen of Death, "The Teacher" who is ALWAYS there to offer "Lessons," would disagree. No one is necessry. Get out of the Loop and within seconds -- nano-seconds? -- the loop has closed and is once again seamless. Something to always keep in mind.

Ron also sez"By the way, as a happy Mac user, just what is this "blue screen of death" I hear so much about?

Time to go check the "classified" section of my "newspaper" -- the free stuff around SLO County on Craig's List. Great fun!"

Wise guy with your Mac. Ah, Craig's list. Gotta check it myself. Listed a car/van dog barrier for sale -- 1/2 price! never been used! Great deal! gotta go see if it's still listed.

Neo sez:"but sometimes the files I lose are the ones I'd forgotten I had. Losing the CD is another hazard that you realize right after you've emptied your Recycle Bin."

What's so amazing to me is we seem to be chasing our tails in many ways. Remember the great "The Libraries are Burning" kerfluffle a few years ago. Sulphur content in the newsprint and book paper is slowing "burning" i.e. consuming our library materials, so everyone rushed to get everything onto a variety of "new, improved" technical marvels -- microfiche, floppy discs, etc. Then they threw away the actual books and papers & etc. THEN, oh woe, found out that the technology designed to "save" the info was now obsolete and they had all these discs but nothing to play them on since the technology had changed & so forth. The videotape that was used to transfer old (fragile and disintegrating) nitrate film stock was also disintegrating and since the development of the DVD, was now going the way of the dodo, and so on and so on.

It's a futile enterprise, thats for sure. I mean, think of what went up in smoke when the great library at Alexandria burned. We're burning through the equivalet probably every 10 minutes.

Well, maybe it's best to just consider Willa Cather's apt observation: "There are only two or three human stories, and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely as if they had never happened before."

All the rest is kerfluffle.

Shark Inlet said...

Ron ... are you serious ... that you read Ann's blog daily?

If that is the case, why do you so rarely make comments?

Anonymous said...

Here's a non-sewer question, who's putting up and deciding where all the new stop signs in town? Some make sense, others are confounding. Also, is the El Morro parkway or whatever you call it complete? Somehow I envisioned something more attractive.

*PG-13 said...

Been out of town and pretty much unplugged so this entry is waaaaay late. Too late to expect anybody but Ann to catch it - assuming she has auto-notify turned on. (Maybe her recent experience has convinced her to turn that piece of intrusive technology off.) And that's cool cuz this entry is pretty much directed to her anyway.

Thanks, Ann. I too wonder whether I'm not voluntarily jumping into the bowels of the beast everytime I turn to the computer to do anything other than job-specific work. As a professional computer technologist I am often in conflict with my Luddite nature. We should step back occassionally to measure the extent of our loss to the very tools meant to free us. (sigh)

Interestingly, one of many passing thoughts while I was unplugged last week was wondering what your blog will be once this sewer thing is over. I look forward to reading more commentary like this. Thanks again.