Hey, Get a Job!

Went to see the new, very, very long Julia Roberts movie, Eat, Pray, Love.

Based on the memoir by Elizbeth Gilbert, it is what it is – thirty-something, middle-class rich white writer (with a book advance) travels to Italy (eat), India (pray) and Bali (love) looking to get over a failed marriage, looking for spiritual enlightenment and looking for good food. She also finds true love with Javier Bardem and sails into the sunset (in real life, she sailed into a huge bestseller and pots of money).

But the triteness of this lady’s search (Oh, Dear God, get over yourself!) wasn’t the most annoying thing about the movie. The most annoying thing was that the movie was made by another obsessive Julia Roberts stalker. Most Julia Roberts movies are made by obsessive Julia Roberts stalkers – directors sooooo in love with that face, that face, that face (i.e. the money shot) and that smile, ooooo that smile, and wait for it, wait for it, that burst of laughter.

Wash, rinse, repeat. Endless. Julia’s face being sad. Julia’s face being happy. Julia’s face being puzzled. Julia’s face eating pasta, Julia’s face being angry. Julia’s face laughing, Julia’s fine teeth in that face, that face, that face. All in claustrophobic close-up with no room for her character to breathe let alone exist. It’s all about . . . that face.

Which I get. I understand. She’s lovely, but, c’mon, she’s also a fine actress when she’s working with a director who’s not an obsessed stalker.

Plus, be warned, this film is 133 minutes long. One hundred and thirty-three minutes of Julia Roberts’ teeth constitutes extreme punishment. But there is a really nice elephant that appears towards the end and walks over to Julia. It’s suppose to represent serendipity and the unexpected beauty and magic in life which our Julia is now ready to understand and accept. Personally, I figured it was just looking for a good dish of pasta.

Oh, and a cute little old Balinese shaman who says, “See you later Alligator.”

You have been warned.