Is That A Bonus In Your Pocket

. . . or are you just glad to see me?

O.K. admit it.  This story's just plain goofy, one of those Chinese Water Torture stories that dribble out bit by bit.  First, Jamie Irons, the new Morro Bay City Council has a meeting then doesn't have a meeting, then wants to fire their top two CEOs, then it doesn't fire anybody and gives no reason why they're being fired or not fired.  Then hundreds of outraged citizens show up with firebrands, making ugly crowd noises and demanding to know what's going on, so the City Council says, Sorry, it's a personnel matter, we can't tell you even though we're not saying anybody's done anything to be fired for, maybe, maybe not, who knows?  Then the Mayor says, "Oh, nevermind.  Instead of firing, we'll go hire an outside lawyer to find out what we just did or didn't do and what we should do now, not that we're saying we're going to do anything in the first place, or something, maybe.

So, the Tribune readers mull over that enlightening report and a few days later, up pops a follow up story claiming that "several legal experts" (i.e. Tom Newton, executive director of the California Newspaper Publishers Association) have opined that the previous Morro Bay Mayor Yates and his City Council violated the Brown Act when they failed to give proper public notice of their intention to increase their two CEO's severance pay six weeks before before leaving office.  And then forgot to report out that compensation. 

Then, on the same front page, another follow up story:  The Morro Bay City Council voted to cough up $12,500 for an outside attorney to sort through this mess to find out a couple of things:  Since the "secret" severance packages were (apparently) done in violation of the Brown act, are they invalid?  And, if they are, can the new Mayor Irons go ahead and fire the two CEO's using their old at-will contracts?  Thereby saving the city some $300,000-plus in excess compensation?

Well, stay tuned.  In the meantime, some citizens have started a recall petition.  Morro Bay Politics.  A Recall.  Oh, dear. 

Oh, and you just knew THAT was gonna happen . . .

The Tribune reports that the County code enforcement folks were heading out to drought-parched Paso Robles to investigate dozens of illegal water use violation complaints. When the BOS voted on Aug 27 to forbid any new vines, that meant unless the vintner/farmer/rancher actually had his vines/trees in the ground, they were out of luck. Then they weasled  on  "vested rights," which allowed some wiggle room for growers who had paid-for vines in transit, for example. 

And when there's wiggle room there's sure to be growers willing to wiggle right over the line, then head to court.  And so it begins:  Owens Valley, redux.  Will we hear shotguns in the night?  Cut water lines? Sabotage?  Hey, they don't call it a Water War for nothing.  And when livelihoods and homes are at stake . . .  Let's hope the formation of a water district and some sort of water rationing kicks in soon.  Meantime, pray for rain.

Water, Water Everywhere!  Let's Dump It Into the Bay

Over at Cal Coast News ( http://calcoastnews.com/2013/09/los-osos-sewer-contractor-dumping-millions-gallons-water-morro-bay/  ), Josh Friedman picks up the story of the Los Osos sewer contractors being awash in polluted ground-water bubbling up whilst they're laying pipe for the new sewer.  Oh, what to do with the stuff?  Well, their contract calls for them to dispose of it on land, if possible, and they're certainly doing that daily, with water trucks trolling the streets spraying everywhere.  But there's just too much of the stuff and the county plans apparently didn't include running a pipe, for example, up to the Broderson disposal site so the water could percolate back into the ground and do that before digging began in earnest.

Oh, what to do?  Well, there's Morro Bay right there, and Morro Bay's made up of water, and polluted groundwater is, well, it's water, so what's the problem?  Let's just dump it in the Bay!  Who's to object?

The Regional Water Quality Control Board, you might reply?  Oh, no.  That Board wasted no time and expended enormous amounts of money and time prosecuting 45 happless homeowners (The Los Osos 45) for polluting the groundwater with their septic tanks,but when it comes to dumping gazillions of gallons of polluted groundwater into the Bay?  Meh.  Not a problem.

The contractor was supposed to exhaust all alternative ground-dispersal options before bay discharge, but there's no evidence that that has been done.  And no evidence that the Water Board plans to enforce that requirement.  Besides sending the contract a mild little letter of suggestions.  No Mad Hatter trials for them!  After all, it's only an issue of water quality, nothing the Regional Water Quality Control Board need concern itself with. Ditto for the BOS.  More "Meh."

Well, with all things RWQCB,  BOS and Sewer, it's all a matter of geese and ganders, isn't it?

Healed At Last?

Well, over at www.sewerwatch.blogspot.com, Ron Crawford has a few things to say about the "ReCreate Los Osos" organization that was formed to "heal Los Osos" and is now dead before it could get born, alas.  But Ron's too hard on Marshall Ochylski and Lou Tornatzy, the folks behind the "healing."  If Ron wishes punishment upon them, rest assured, they have suffered plenty since he writes that they're now dissolving that organization as a state non-profit.

As someone who spent about a year wandering in the virtual halls of Sacramento attempting to dissolve an uneeded Ca. nonprofit that was part of the off-leash dog park,  I can tell you those two are in for a nightmare.  I have never seen a more confusing process, full of wrong directions, unintelligible paperwork, forms returned with absolutely no reason given for returning them, futile phone calls, hair pulling frustration until I finally got ahold of a nice young man who in four sentences laid out what still needed to be done.  When I asked him why those instructions weren't included with the original dissolution packet, he was silent.

It was Byzantine bureaucracy at its worst and I would not wish it on my worst enemy.  So, good luck to those two.  In the meantime, it's all sunshine and happiness in Los Osos, so apparently this nonprofit, "ReCreate Los Osos" worked.  Mirable Dictu.

Speaking of The Odd Couple

If Healing Los Osos didn't quite work for you and you're still in need of a good laugh, head up to The Pewter Playhouse in Cambria.  They're putting on a distaff version of Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple," with Janice Peters and Sharyn Young playing the mismatched leads.  The play is running every Friday & Saturday at 7:30 pm through Sept 1 with Sunday Matinees on August 18, 25 and Sept 1 at 3 pm.  Cost is $15 on Fridays, or $20 on Sunday's, with Seniors and Students for $18. Reservations can be had at (805) 927-3877 or www.pewterploughplayhouse.org

The theatre, which has been there forever, has been recently gussied up, with new cunningly comfortable seats (modified directors chairs, each named by chair donors after a famous actor/actress.)  While the theatre is small, it's intimacy supports all that is best about the words "little theatre." 

Next up on their playlist is "The Weir, A Ghost Story" by Conon McPherson (Sept 20 - Oct 27, a perfect ghostly play coincide with Cambria's Scarecrow Festival during the month of Oct.  Then they'll be doing "A Tuna Christmas," running Nov 22 - December 29.  If you haven't seen this satiric comedy, put that on your Christmas list to go-see. 

And Now The Department of We're Not Surprised

A nice fat envelope from Bruce Gibson for Supervisor landed on my doorstep and when I opened it up I learned that our supervisor, who had, if memory served, petulantly declared he wouldn't be running for another term, said while he was embroiled in getting his girlfriend back into his office as his legislative assistant  (dare I presume that was part of the ploy to sway public opinion, as in, "Well, give him what he wants since this will be his last term and we'll just have to hold our noses for a while until he's gone?")  

Well, if you're one of those holding your nose, you'd better start breathing because the first sentence of the letter was this, "My Dear Friend, I'm writing to let you know that I am seeing another term on the San Luis Obispo County Board of Supervisors in 2014 -- and I'm going to need your help now more than ever." 

And reading further it turns out that he needs your help because the well-funded Looney-Tune Tea Party/COLAB/Paranoid anti-Agenda 21 UN conspiracy promoters and climate-change deniers are at the gates and the County faces wrack and ruin unless he's elected. And, yes, he knows ". . . that my actions have hurt my family, my friends and my community.  I'm deeply sorry for that, and again, I apologize," but clearly he feels that without him the County will be overrun by special interests and land-grabbing despoiling Huns pouring in from the North County, let by the Terrifying Khan, Debbie Arnold, and her henchman, north and south. (More grapevines! More grapevines! Drain the aquifer!) 

Well, no mistake, the next few months and years are gonna get interesting, especially for the North County.  In typical SLO County fashion, they've known about the dropping water table for 20 plus years and did nothing.  (Not to mention the Regional Water Quality Control Board that should have been concerned about, uh, water quality, especially when the quality of the water starting turning into dust?)  So now the piper has arrived demanding to be paid.  And it ain't gonna be pretty.  I have two words for everyone involved in what's gonna go down now:  Los Osos.  

In the meantime, for all the peasants in the path of the Khans, I can only say, relax, don't worry.  Who needs water when you have PomWonderful and wine to drink and Fiji water to bathe in?  Quel luxury!