Calhoun’s Can(n)ons for October 28, 09
The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
Phil Potts
The great grapevine is giving up the ghost. Even in the sunny heat of September, the leaves started tossing in the towel and with October’s bright blue weather they’re calling it quits for the year.
In the garden, the four o’clocks are decidedly looking like half-past six. Only the nasturtiums, the contrarian nasturtiums, rouse themselves into mounds of new dinner-plate leaves for one last tumble-running carouse before the frosts take them down. Whoopee time for the peppery-flowered Katzenjammer Kids.
In the street easement in front of the house, in the County’s no man’s land beside the dirt road midway between my neighbor’s house and mine, the huge dead pine tree stands, an arboreal threat to life and limb when the winter winds blow, the branches overhanging the power drop lines to our houses. Nobody knows who planted the thing or when. It’s been there forever. I called the power company and they came out to merely top a bit off, calculating that by reducing the overall height of the thing, should it fall, it would miss their highest power lines. About the “hot” drop lines, they don’t care. Not their problem.
Not the county’s problem either. They claim that the homeowner’s responsible for anything from their property line into the middle of the street. In my case, the street is an un-maintained county dirt “road.” When I say, Well, if I’m responsible for all that, and since you don’t maintain this road anyway, I’m going to block off a good portion and plant a garden. No, the County says, you can’t do that. That’s OUR property. Well, fine, I say, then come take care of this potential liability – the dead tree that’s on YOUR property. And they say, Oh, no, that area is YOUR responsibility. Okay, sez I, then I’m going to block it off and build a garden. No can do, they say, that’s OUR property.
And around and around we go. All benefit to the county, all liability to the homeowner with taxes paying for, What, exactly? Not dead street trees, that’s for sure.
My neighbor calls A Tree Guy who stands under the great dead, bug-infested pine and says, Listen! Woodpeckers. They decide to just lop off a good portion of the limbs, especially those of a size to threaten the drop lines, and leave the rest as perches for the birds. I’m delighted to hear of the decision since my beloved crows hang out there, practicing their mutters. It is a resting place for a local hawk and I often hear an owl up there softly calling on soft June nights. And the tree is always filled with a constantly moving crowd of small birds, all flitting from branch to branch. The Tree Guy says a properly trimmed dead tree can stand for 8 years. I hope he’s right.
More changes as my little red XBox Scion, The Tall Dog Car, was hit and shoved into the car in front of me. No one was hurt as everyone was going slowly to begin with, so the stiff soreness I feel a few days later I attribute simply to the effect of bracing for that Ohhh Shiiiittt moment when you look in the rear view mirror and know the guy behind you isn’t going to stop in time and watch in Slo-Mo as your own car moves inexorably forward, and then hear the sickening metallic crunch as the front end smooshes into the car in front of you. Ooooo, Noooooo.
The damage to my rear bumper was minimal since the young man behind me who ran out of space and time and luck was driving a car with a “normal” bumper set at the “normal” height. However, the destruction to the front of my car was awesome because the Jeep 4X I was shoved into had a Very Tall Bumper set abnormally high, as are all 4Xers, and instead of bumping into my bumper, it smashed into my car’s face.
And all I can think about during the insane Insurance/Repair/Crazy Dance that follows is, I wonder why the insurance lobby didn’t get Congress to mandate equal height bumpers. Would have saved them a ton of money.
Since the car rental agency discourages putting dogs in their rental cars, the pack of Calhooligans must make do with daily walks instead of visits to the dog park. That suits them just fine. For them, all change is good. Whether it’s a changing season, a dead tree, or a broken-nosed car, it’s all just another exciting adventure in a world filled with magical things.
Not a bad philosophy. Smart dogs.
The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
Phil Potts
The great grapevine is giving up the ghost. Even in the sunny heat of September, the leaves started tossing in the towel and with October’s bright blue weather they’re calling it quits for the year.
In the garden, the four o’clocks are decidedly looking like half-past six. Only the nasturtiums, the contrarian nasturtiums, rouse themselves into mounds of new dinner-plate leaves for one last tumble-running carouse before the frosts take them down. Whoopee time for the peppery-flowered Katzenjammer Kids.
In the street easement in front of the house, in the County’s no man’s land beside the dirt road midway between my neighbor’s house and mine, the huge dead pine tree stands, an arboreal threat to life and limb when the winter winds blow, the branches overhanging the power drop lines to our houses. Nobody knows who planted the thing or when. It’s been there forever. I called the power company and they came out to merely top a bit off, calculating that by reducing the overall height of the thing, should it fall, it would miss their highest power lines. About the “hot” drop lines, they don’t care. Not their problem.
Not the county’s problem either. They claim that the homeowner’s responsible for anything from their property line into the middle of the street. In my case, the street is an un-maintained county dirt “road.” When I say, Well, if I’m responsible for all that, and since you don’t maintain this road anyway, I’m going to block off a good portion and plant a garden. No, the County says, you can’t do that. That’s OUR property. Well, fine, I say, then come take care of this potential liability – the dead tree that’s on YOUR property. And they say, Oh, no, that area is YOUR responsibility. Okay, sez I, then I’m going to block it off and build a garden. No can do, they say, that’s OUR property.
And around and around we go. All benefit to the county, all liability to the homeowner with taxes paying for, What, exactly? Not dead street trees, that’s for sure.
My neighbor calls A Tree Guy who stands under the great dead, bug-infested pine and says, Listen! Woodpeckers. They decide to just lop off a good portion of the limbs, especially those of a size to threaten the drop lines, and leave the rest as perches for the birds. I’m delighted to hear of the decision since my beloved crows hang out there, practicing their mutters. It is a resting place for a local hawk and I often hear an owl up there softly calling on soft June nights. And the tree is always filled with a constantly moving crowd of small birds, all flitting from branch to branch. The Tree Guy says a properly trimmed dead tree can stand for 8 years. I hope he’s right.
More changes as my little red XBox Scion, The Tall Dog Car, was hit and shoved into the car in front of me. No one was hurt as everyone was going slowly to begin with, so the stiff soreness I feel a few days later I attribute simply to the effect of bracing for that Ohhh Shiiiittt moment when you look in the rear view mirror and know the guy behind you isn’t going to stop in time and watch in Slo-Mo as your own car moves inexorably forward, and then hear the sickening metallic crunch as the front end smooshes into the car in front of you. Ooooo, Noooooo.
The damage to my rear bumper was minimal since the young man behind me who ran out of space and time and luck was driving a car with a “normal” bumper set at the “normal” height. However, the destruction to the front of my car was awesome because the Jeep 4X I was shoved into had a Very Tall Bumper set abnormally high, as are all 4Xers, and instead of bumping into my bumper, it smashed into my car’s face.
And all I can think about during the insane Insurance/Repair/Crazy Dance that follows is, I wonder why the insurance lobby didn’t get Congress to mandate equal height bumpers. Would have saved them a ton of money.
Since the car rental agency discourages putting dogs in their rental cars, the pack of Calhooligans must make do with daily walks instead of visits to the dog park. That suits them just fine. For them, all change is good. Whether it’s a changing season, a dead tree, or a broken-nosed car, it’s all just another exciting adventure in a world filled with magical things.
Not a bad philosophy. Smart dogs.
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