Calhouns Can(n)ons

Oh, For God’s Sake, Al, Why Didn’t You Listen To Mother Calhoun’s Sage Advice For The Clueless Over A Year Ago?

If Al Barrow had listened to Mother Calhoun after the little incident at Assemblyman Sam Blakeslee’s office, wherein he terrified Blakeslee’s staff, the sheriff had to be called out, the whole thing hit the front pages and made Al and, by association, all of Sewerville look like certifiable nut jobs , then the CSD wouldn’t have wasted last night on an agenda item that can best be described as: “Oh, Sweet Jesus, What Are We Going To Do With All Barrow Short Of Putting His Miserable Mau-Mauing Behind In Jail?” while Citizen Al sat in the front row of the meeting laughing, waving his hands in agreement with some speakers, and goofing around like a kid I remember in my 4th grade class.

Months before, it seems Citizen Al had gone to the CSD office, pitched his typical little Mau-Mauing fit and scared heck out of some of the staff there, was sent a letter by the CSD’s lawyer, for God’s sake, cautioning him to knock that crap off or further legal sanctions would be considered. That letter obviously was a complete waste of time and paper since at last Tuesday night’s TAC meeting, Citizen Al did his little Mau-Mau routine, swearing at the Chairman, who calmly looked at him like my teacher used to look at that kid in my 4th grade class.

In a move that could only be described as Reason # 745 of “Why I Love This Looney Town,” a variety of citizens, many of whom have been Mau-Maued by Citizen Al in the past and find his behavior repellent, nonetheless rose to oppose the proposed CSD Censure on several points, and suggest alternatives: That office policy be reviewed and changed, if necessary, to ensure that no violence (including abusive Mau-Mauing) will be tolerated by ANYONE, including Citizen Al; that if he’s disruptive and unwelcome on the Wastewater Committee, since The Board Giveth Committee Appointments, then The Board Can Taketh Away Committee Appointments, and can do so without a formal public censure motion.

Most of the speakers were, at heart, concerned that even a whiff of a Censure, even for people who use Mau-Mauing as a political tactic, might violate everyone’s rights of free speech and set a bad precedent for future CSD Boards. It was also suggested that the various CSD’s Rules of Decorum during public meetings be observed more closely for all members, including some of the fourth-graders who often sit in the back of the room making faces and grunty Mau-Mau-noises when someone says something they don’t like during public comment.

The motion to Censure was tabled with instructions that staff revise it to narrow the focus on workplace safety procedures and the Board President promised to be heavier on the gavel in future.

Which was all Déjà vu again. The previous Board had Mr. Policeman Guy on the payroll, the board previous to that invented all sorts of detailed rules of decorum that were gleefully ridiculed, and at one time, the previous CSD also had a sheriff standing at meetings, an option which is presently not in the budget. Seems we Ososians have been a snarkey lot from day one. Like I said . . . fourth grade.

And it was all a complete waste of time, so far as I could see, after Citizen Al took the microphone and spent an inordinate amount of time excusing himself by blaming everyone and everything possible, including a claim that he had been diagnosed with having “that kind of personality,” (“having that kind of personality” is now a disorder that appears in medical texts?), and then said in the direction of Staff, “ . . you all have my sympathy. . .”

You all have my sympathy???

Errrrnnkkk! Sorry, Citizen Al. Not good enough.

IF you wish to restore whatever shreds of credibility you have left in and out of this community, it’s time for a Doctor Phil moment: You can’t fix what you won’t acknowledge. You need to own your behavior and its role in all your troubles, so please listen and repeat after Mother Calhoun:

I accept full responsibility for my appalling behavior. I have repeatedly, deliberately, consistently, constantly engaged in Mau-Mauing people whenever it pleases me to do so. I believe Mau-Mauing is often an effective tactic in order to bully people and get my way. I have done this for years because I believe I have a right to behave this way. I have excused my behavior by claiming I have some sort of diagnosed condition that is totally out of my control. This is simply not true because I have demonstrated repeatedly over the years that I am and can be in perfect control of myself when I choose to be. I understand now I was and have been completely in the wrong in this matter.
There was and is NO JUSTIFICATION OR EXCUSE for my behavior.
I’m sorry.
I WILL NOT behave that way again.
Period.
End of Sentence.

Other than this wasteful dumbshow, there was one piece of news out of closed session: The CSD has agreed to retain the services of attorney Shauna Sullivan as regards to the CDOs & ACLs. Even though the RWQCB is “standing down” – for now – it’s critical to continue with the legal process so as to not lose standing later in a “real court” and to protect the record.


So the evening wasn’t a complete bust.