So, like everyone knows that California is THE cutting edge, the sharp point of all that’s new and happening and progressive and forward looking, the avatar of the Future, the state that is the state of Firsts!
So guess whose Supreme Court just declared that outlawing gay marriage was unconstitutional and that there was no compelling state reason to continue to outlaw it? Iowa. IOWA???
Then the state legislature of Vermont. . . . VERMONT, fer crying out loud, voted to override their Governor to make gay marriage legal because they couldn’t find any compelling state reason to keep it illegal any more. VERMONT!
And then there’s progressive, ahead of the curve California wherein our state supreme court first said they couldn’t find any compelling state reason to ban gay marriage so that law was struck down as unconstitutional and a whole bunch of gay people got married amidst much whoop-eee-dooping, until the Mormon Church and the Catholic Church funneled a whole lot of money into the state and the progressive, forward-looking, I believe in equal civil rights folks of California voted to make gay marriage illegal again, thereby setting up a weird two-tiered system: Straight people and some gay people get all the full rights and responsibilities and benefits of “marriage,” while all other identical gay people get zip --second-class treatment – no marriage for them!
Meanwhile, in Iowa and Vermont, the message is clear. Their constitution and/or legislature think gay citizens are equal to straight citizens and should share the same rights and responsibilities. Imagine! But not in California.
Aw, Gaaawwwd, it’s sooo embarrassing.
Well, the Mormons and Catholics and various conservative groups better start shoveling money into Iowa and Vermont to rabble-rouse the population with threats that all those gay Iowans and Vermonters will soon start molesting all the children, destroying straight marriage, teaching gayness in school and, as part of their Gay Agenda, use their special powers to blight the corn crops in Iowa and kill off all the Vermont maple trees, thereby destroying the maple industry of the state, bringing down wrack and ruin to the bedrock of America, Gawd help us all!
Or, as political cartoonist Carlson had it: two guys standing by a fence, barns and silos behind them. Says one, "Only a state full of latte-sipping, arugula-eating, fashion-conscious, boundry-pushing libertines would sanction gay marriage." Replied the other guy: "That's Iowa for ya!"
Oh, The horror, the horror.