Sandy Bank’s column in the February 24 Times added a deliciously new wrinkle to the pathetic Tiger Woods Story: The Tale of The Wronged Woman.
No, not Wood’s wife, but one of his, uh, girlfriends, Veronica Siwik-Daniels went before the cameras with her headline-hunting feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, at her side demanding, DEMANDING, that Woods owed Ms. Siwik-Daniels, above all women, an public apology.
Why, you ask? Well because “ . . . he led her on and broke her heart,” by texting her, “Baby, I’m not going anywhere or doing anything. You please me like no other has or ever will. I am not losing that,” and, as Allred noted, “A woman ought to be able to believe a man when he tells her that.”
In Victorian times an innocent young girl being courted by her swain might have presumed honorable intentions, constancy and true love, but not a former porn star having a sexual affair with a famous married man. Victorian sensibilities don’t mix well with 21st century cell phone sexting; the cognitive dissonance is simply too great. Get me my smelling salts, I feel the vapors coming on.
Well, I’m sure with this particular case, Ms. Allred will wave the words “palimony” around (Siwik-Daniels claimed she “stopped performing in porn movies because Woods ‘couldn’t stand seeing her with another man . . ‘” . . . so “She’s had no income for the past two years.”
In Victorian times, wealthy men understood that dalliances were expensive propositions and what was said about yachts applied also to their mistresses: If you have to ask how much they cost, you can’t afford one.
Headlines in this morning’s Tribune: “Lawmaker to [Anthem Blue Cross] insurer: ‘Have you no shame?” regarding their 39 percent price increases on their hapless “customers.”
A Congressperson actually wasted his breath asking that question?
Dueling Tribune headlines: “Generals wary of repealing ban on gays” and “Navy will soon let women serve on subs.”
The Problem Solved!
Only straight men and gay women will be allowed to serve in the military.
Issue closed. Next problem?