Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Off Base

Calhoun's Canon for June 3, 2013

There was weeping and gnashing of teeth in Comedy Land when the news came in. Oz was tumbling.  There would be no more joy in Satiric Mudville. The Queen of Crazy was abdicating. Beset with ethics investigations and falling poll numbers, Minnesota Congresswoman, Michele Bachmann, was packing her bags.  Her fourth term in Congress would be her last, which prompted certain people to ask, "She got elected four times? In Minnesota? How is that possible?"

I think it was possible because in 9/11, America had a nervous breakdown when the Twin Towers fell (just as Osama bin Laden predicted)  and a massive upwelling of darkness in the American psyche began a self-destructive flow that swamped the country in irrational fear, ugly bigotry, high-octane rage, deadly war-mongering, know-nothing unholy Apocalyptic religiosity, all of it a deadly brew that unleashed and justified America's Paranoid Style, only this time it was paranoia on steroids.

Toss in an economic meltdown and the election of a black President and for a certain segment of the population (helped along by corporate interests feeding and manipulating the fear and rage for their own purposes) it was all too much.  And so the Era of the
Republican Crazies was upon us. 

And what a crop they were. What a show of ignorance, idiocy, misogyny (Who can forget "legitimate rape?"), anti-science stupidity, mind-numbing foolishness (Birthers?  Really?  Birthers?)  and jaw-dropping demagoguery. And these folks were actually running the store (Congress and Senate) or running so they could shut down the store, or showing up in eye-popping numbers for try-outs for the little theatre production of, "I Want To Be President Just Because I'm So Wonderful!"  

A national Clown Show by and for the deranged, while outside the hallowed halls of government, citizens (ramped up, funded and run by the likes of the Koch Brothers or Republican operatives like Dick Armey, Grover (drown-government-in-a-bathtub) Norquist and Karl Rove) threw Tea Parties and frightened, distressed citizens showed up dressed in tricorn hats, guns on their hips, carrying posters with photo-shopped pictures of President Obama with a bone through his nose. And lots of befuddled, oxymoronic cries of,  "No Socialized medicine!  Keep your hands off my Medicare!"

The media loved it.  Comedians loved it.  It was party night in Bedlam, while the country bled out its wealth and sent more of its finest off to bleed out in one big endless War on Terror. The country was sick and in its deranged state, weirdly elected and re-elected representatives who would vote to inflict the maximum amount of punishment on themselves (Main Street), while administering the maximum amount of soothing salve to the wealthy (Wall Street).  It was one long self-inflicted Medean act of fury: Take that, you mooching 47-percenters! 

While the political Kings and Queens of Crazy vied to see who could grab the most headlines and raise the most funds with their "Can You Top This?" stupidities.

And now, the Queen of Crazy is folding her tent. The comedians are in mourning.  And I can only pray that soon, soon, a sufficient number of Americans will wake up, shake their heads in wonder, and ask, "What the hell were we thinking?"

And the long nightmare will be over.



Anne R. Allen said...

I would love to think that our long nightmare of crazy is over, but the lunatics are still running the asylum in Congress. Let's hope a few of them listen to Bob Dole. A smart man. We need intelligent conservatives to balance progressives and keep things in balance. But intelligent conservatives are still hated as much by the Republican party as Democrats.

The crazies took everything so far to the right that we now have a Democratic administration that is more conservative than Dwight Eisenhower. So the crazies killed off the left, We now have Democrats who are really Republicans. (Real liberals didn't want Mitt Romney's plan that's now called Obamacare: that was an attempt to compromise with the right.)

The Crazy Congress majority is still with us: that incomprehensible mash-up of anarchy, religious fascism and the KKK. I hope Bachman's exit will signal a retreat of the rest of her demented colleagues, but until they're gone, I'm not going to rest easy.

Anonymous said...

you are a great writer. because you are an artist, your metaphors are so exquisite that . . . well, i don't do metaphors as well as you do.
i am proud you are my friend.



Anonymous said...

Ann: You have written the truth here, but of course, the deniers will bleat and wallow about mean all of us on the left are (including many who really are much closer to what used to be the middle). But have no fear, the stupidity will continue: Benghazi! Benghazi! Bengh- oh wait, The IRS! The IRS! The IRS!
Unfortunately, there is way too much distraction pushed by the so-called "liberal media", so the realization that we have very stupid people trying to shut down government now in charge of a great deal of government will not be explained to the typical Faux News zombie.
The whole mess of the Tea Party tax avoidance scheme could be explained and accepted if they would just stand up and proclaim their true mission and purpose; they are "faith-based" organizations, and if you doubt it, just realize that since they have no use for "facts", they operate on "faith". They "believe", they don't need evidence since they have the faith that they are in the right.


bunchadogs said...

I would really laugh at the "maybe soon" but I've been too busy the past years, crying.

susan hayek-kent

Anonymous said...

You made me laugh out loud till the
dog started barking. Not that the barking is unusual but my laughing
out loud is!

Churadogs said...

Anne: And just when you think there's hope, along comes Gov. Christie pulling that pathetic self-serving election deal, cost be damned. So much for the media's bromance with him while portraying him as a real mench, a new sort of politician. Naw, there he is, rigging the deal while screwing the strapped taxpayer, just just another self-serving Pol. Feh.

Donna: Thank you for your kind words. Hey, I have an idea, since I'm doing metaphors, why don't you do Chigger Lake Diary again. I loved those pieces. Could take a little mini-vacation while sitting right here at the computer.And they'd be especially exciting during tornado weather. You've got a front row seat.

Bob: It won't happen, because both parties benefit from it, but if tax reform vis a vis these fake 501s happen (i.e. eliminate them, need to deliver 100% "social services," and 0% "politics,") then maybe this pathetic IRS screw up will have been worthwile. But, that's a pipe dream. Along with all the other pipe dreams that could be accomplished if voters would get their heads out of their fundaments. Sigh.

Caroline: I hope you started barking right back. Or Barooooooo- ing.

I still maintain that this country did indeed have a nervous breakdown and like all breakdowns, in the midst of the psychic break, there appears, clearly outlined, the twin polarities of the American Soul: A genuinely generous, fair-minded, "Commons-supporting" public face that overlays a far darker inner core that D.H. Lawrence described as, "The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer."

You can see these dueling polarities now being played out in Congress and in our public policies. Think Ayn Randian Fanboy, Paul Ryan vs FDR. Shock & Awe vs The Marshall Plan. Kill government vs build bridges and schools. Dueling dualities. Crazy-making.

Churadogs said...

Susan: How many dogs now?