It started while I was in the nursery staring at this little tree. It was the dead of winter and here was this little tree, the photo-tag clinging to its fragile branch, a photo promising much. promising a dream, really, of warm springs, flowering blossoms, and baskets of crunchy fruits when fall is in the air. Ka-Ching! went the cash register.
That’s how it started, that one little tree. Soon, some vague agrarian idea about peas and beets and squash floated into my brain so more digging commenced. But freshly turned dirt, smelling of worms and muck, soon lured the dogs who found the decorative fencing no match for their tall legs. So, ka-ching! more fencing had to be bought.
Of course, Molly still managed to leap over that or somehow get her snooter through the openings, which prompted another trip to the hardware store for the next step:
Thus swaddled, success! Pea pod shoots.
And apple leaves followed!
Of course, with tasty shoots, the snails arrived. Then little worms. Then the birds. Voracious birds like flying dentures, pecking up everything in sight. So with a sigh, I had to make another trip to the store for . . . ka-Ching!
Bird netting – nearly invisible, endlessly snagging, tangling , infuriating bird netting. And a roll of flashing, shimmery, reflective tape that’s supposed to scare birds away.
In no time, wrapped and be-ribboned, my little garden plot prospered: Beets, beans, pea pods, squash. And somewhere in there a few carrots, and a pumpkin vine that escaped the fencing and was soon snaking across the bare earth, heading for the hydrangeas.
Oh, yes, and a higher than normal water bill.
But there I finally was, Farmer McGregor proudly surveying my farm plot filled with fresh, organic produce, all blissfully growing somewhere under the huge, expensive wrapping of fencing, netting and bamboo stake-poles until it was time for first harvest:
THE $400 ZUCCHINI.