Pages

Showing posts with label Superman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Superman. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Aural Assault

Look!  Up in the sky!  It's a bird?  It's a plane?  No, it's SuperDooper KerFlooey Man!

It's Rococo Man! (If one is good, 79 are better!)  It's Kettle Drum Man! Bring on Hans Zimmer screaming , "Ach tung! You VILL listen to my music! MORE LOUDER!" until the audience is crouched under their seats, fingers in their ears.

It's Demolition Man!  See Superman fly through buildings! Again and again and again and again.  It's Building Crumble Man! See buildings crumble and fall!  Want to see that again?  You got it!  How's about buildings crumbling and falling and .  .. disintegrating!  Want more of that?  Sure, here 68 more!

It's Bring on the Earth Disintegrator Ray! No, bring on TWO Disentegrator Rays! More Rays! More Rays! Who's got the cow bell?

It's "Man of Steel," an interesting, often touching take on Kal-El's  origins, a sweet story of young Clark Kent's coming of age and his search for his place on earth that was mercilessly hijacked, not by Kent's nemesis, General Zod, but by Blockbuster Movie Makers who only know how to appeal to 14 year-old BoyFans who are addicted to obsessively repetitive masturbatory CGI effects and endless, ridiculous Ka-pow! fist-fights, MORE! MORE! Faster! Faster!

Until the audience is bludgeoned into exhaustion, whimpering at the screen, "I can't take any more of this," while Hans shreiks, "MORE LOUD! MORE LOUD, jah?"

For 2 1/2 hours.

Oh, the humanity!