Calhouns Can(n)ons

Calhoun’s Cannons, The Bay News, Morro Bay, CA for July 18, 2007


O Lucky Man

If there is a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is. And if the person has violated law, the person will be taken care of.
President George Bush, Sept 30, 2003

Well, truer words were never spoken. It’s not what you know, but who you know, that counts in this world. And Lucky Scooter Libby can thank his glittering stars that he knows a lot of well connected cronies in a Capitol of Cronies. He can especially thank his pal, President Bush, for commuting his sentence for perjury and obstruction of justice. And thank his future stars that there’s still the possibility that as our Crony-in-Chief hustles out the door at the end of his disgraceful administration he’ll pardon Libby altogether – the ultimate Crony Cash-In – which means Libby will walk free, right into lucrative lobbying jobs, a big, fat tell-nothing book contract, his fines and legal bills reimbursed by all his generous friends.

And it’s not just a case of being rich and famous, either. Poor Paris Hilton thought she was a Somebody, but she still got some jail time for her crimes. Clearly, just being a Somebody doesn’t count. But being a Somebody who knows the Right Somebody, well, that does the trick, doesn’t it?

Our Crony Veep must also be heaving a sigh of relief. Libby’s stay-out-of-jail card removes the threat that some ugly prison time might have loosened Libby’s lips and maybe sunk Dick’s ship. That’s safely avoided now.

Of course, accountability for OCV is highly problematic anyway since he has recently declared himself to be outside of government altogether. Apparently, Cheney has become a Chimera, accountable to no one when he isn’t hiding inside his super secret, man-sized, walk-in office safe, that is.


Oh, sure, some Democrats in Congress are making noises that they want an investigation to see if this latest sweet deal is actually an ongoing conspiracy to further obstruct justice, but Democrats don’t have a large enough majority in Congress to counter Republican interest in keeping all this zipped up and under the carpet. After all, both Republicans and Democrats are now chasing the same vital agenda: Nov, 08-- How to return to/get/hold/stay in power. Compared to that, law, truth, justice and the American Way aren’t worth zip.

True, according to various polls, the American people are indicating disgust with Congress and low ratings for this administration, but the American people have nobody to blame for this mess but themselves. They voted these guys into office, not once but twice, then during the last election they ensured the status quo; a grid-lock, do-little Congress. So the cronies in office will continue to do what they were elected to do: Look out for number one.

It’s all part of the End Game started by Ronald Reagan over 20 years ago: The Devaluation of the Commons, the Government Is Bad Holy Mantra, the Rise of Privatization via The Corporation, the Lack of Accountability Creed, the Rule of I’m All Right, Jack. It’s the untrammeled reign of the Greed is Good Boys, the unfettered free market at work, capitalism at its finest, all fully supported by the American voter! Poisoned pets, imported tainted foods, a gutted EPA, a gutted FDA, an outsourced country, a privatized war, a conservative Supreme Court now tending to rule in favor of corporations and businesses over the Common Citizen. (Don’t even think about Class Action Lawsuits; they’ve gone the way of the Dodo. You want justice for The Little Guy? Go buy it, just like everyone else!) It’s the neo-con’s Conservative Dream Come True, as American as apple pie.

Even down to this recent L.A. Times headline: “[private] Contractors outnumber troops in Iraq,” which was wonderfully shocking in its honesty, at least -- War as Big Business with profits funneled directly into private corporate coffers that are often located off-shore in foreign countries untouchable by those nasty-sticky IRS fingers, while liabilities are shoved off onto taxpayers when the privately hired contractors are injured, tossed off the job, left uninsured and/or end up on the public dole and on various taxpayer financed Medicaid programs. Crony Capitalism at work -- Bury the silverware and hide the hogs in the swamp!

Unless you’re someone named Scooter Libby, of course. Then it’s all gravy.

Momma may have . . . . Poppa may have . . . but God Bless the Child that’s got his own . . . that’s got his own . . .