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Friday, July 27, 2007

Tell Me, Daddy, Was That Masked Man Robin Hood, Or Just Playing Him On TV?

So, I’m reading the latest Bay News, and there’s Jack Beardwood’s front page story, “Deer Killed With DFG’s Blessings,” complete with photo of a dead-as-a-doornail doe on the ground with an arrow sticking out of her neck.

O.K, so it turns out that a doe and her two fawns (along with, no doubt, other deer) have been coming down out of the hills for din-din in the Pecho Road area of Los Osos to raid various farms and, continues the story, “Other businesses in the area have had deer eating into their profits too. Hope Merkle, manager of the neighboring Los Osos Valley Nursery, said they have suffered about $5,000 in losses since February, due to the activity of five or six deer. Losses include $700 in avacdao plants, peas , petunias, geraniums, and apple trees. The deer also destroyed 40 rose bushes just before Mother’s Day. Price was $26 apiece. Despite their losses, she said they decided not to pursue a depredation permit.”

However, there are “commercial agricultural operations” out in that neck of the woods, full of “fruit trees, tomatoes and asparagus [that] had been eaten heavily by deer,” and the story implied that an [unnamed landowner] was the one who asked for and was granted a “depredation permit,” that is, a permit by Fish and Game that would allow the person in question to kill the deer that are munching up his crops.

Still O.K. Too bad, but, O.K. It happens. As the story notes, “When wildlife loses its fear of humans, there are harsh consequences, said F&G warden Lt. Dean] Hileman. For that reason, it is unlawful to feed deer and other wildlife. Deer attract mountain lions – their natural predators – and bucks that are no longer afraid of humans can become dangerous.”

“What I want to do is educate people on how important it is to keep our wildlife wild,” he said. “When we start making pets out of wildlife, whether intended or not, this will ultimately result in their demise. It is very unfortunate that wildlife has to suffer because of human interaction. We don’t want the two fawns stranded because their mom got shot.”

All too true, Lt. Hileman, all too true. But, then I get to this part in the story, the part about “an arrow embedded in [the doe’s] neck,” and this capper: The shooter apparently “used dogs to track the injured [doe, the one with the arrow in her neck] but gave up after it escaped to vacant land to the west of the nursery.”

Uh, so, let’s see if we have this straight; landowner gets fed up with depredations by deer, in this case a doe that apparently had fawns, said deer, that may or may not have been the crop muncher out of, apparently, a bunch of deer in the area that have gotten used to showing up because the humans didn’t make a point of shooing them away, fencing them out, or are growing edible stuff that hungry deer can’t resist, so the fed up landowner gets a depredation permit then goes out with a bow and arrow and shoots the doe through the neck, the doe runs because it wasn’t a clean shot, suffers God knows how long until she likely slowly bleeds to death and the shooter can’t find the body, even with dogs, and apparently doesn’t know about the fawns, and the doe finally dies?

Now, the questions: How many people do you know are dead shots with a bow and arrow? How many people do you know who THINK they are dead shots with a bow and arrow, fashion themselves Robin Hood, go shoot a deer and miss the clean kill-shot (hint: It’s not the neck, try lower down and towards the rear and hope your arrow doesn’t bounce off the ribcage?) so the animal end us with an arrow sticking out of it, runs away, thrashes around and dies slowly?

Right. I know a lot of Robin Hood wannabes, but very few who can make the cut to being the real thing.

So, do we need to be asking Fish & Game whether allowing civilians to hunt down deer with bow & arrows is actually a humane way to go? Lord knows, having some Los Ososian wandering around with a high-powered rifle is even creepier, but . . .

For now, the fawns are apparently old enough to forage on their own, but with no mom, they’ll likely run into trouble and end up either road kill or dinner for a hungry coyote or mountain lion. As Lt. Hileman said, “there are harsh consequences” when wildlife lose their fear of humans.

The story notes that F&G, “In anticipation of a public outcry caused by the killing of the deer” . . . “would hold a public meeting to address concerns. No date has been set but it would likely be held at the South Bay Community Center.”

Oh, goodie, can’t wait for THAT meeting. You thought Sewer War Meetings got lively, I can only imagine what that one will be like.

One serious question I will have is this: Since there are actually very few dead-eye dicks in the world, and even fewer Robin Hoods, instead of issuing “depredation permits” to people of, uh, unproven bushcraft skills – especially for use of bow and arrow, a notoriously sloppy weapon in untrained hands – would it have been safer, easier, and more humane to call in a F&G trained tracker/hunter for, at least, a clean kill?

Yeah, I know, too expensive, I’m sure.

Well, if nothing else, the meeting may be able to educate people out of their Disney Mind Frame – it’s not Bambi, Mother Nature is not kind, and the Law of Unintended Consequences are always in play.

28 comments:

4crapkiller said...

The deer population has exploded all over the Central Coast. Raccoons too! Seems like this is because of a few problems:

1. Nobody wants to hunt them because of animal rights activists. Animal activists want them protected and do not understand the consequences of an exploding deer population.

2. They are skinny and do not taste good. People rather eat beef, chicken, or pork. They should be hunted and fed to prisoners ( good reason to stay out of jail ).

3. Vast lack of public hunting areas. Can't hunt on public property ( Montana del Oro ).

4. Car body repair shops depend upon them.

5. They are cute and make the area special. Sort of like sea otters. Too many people have gardens, roses, green lawns, etc. Easy pickings.

7. Since there is no hunting pressure, they are not afraid of people. However, they are afraid of people walking dogs, even little dogs. Since people are afraid of big cats and bears, there are no preditors.

Don't worry folks, these population explosions only last for a while. Soon a deer disease will come and destroy 2/3 of the population. Better hope it is not mad cow disease or rabies.

However, there is some hope otherwise: As the price of corn continues to rise (subsidised ethanol production for auto fuel), animal feed will get far more expensive.

When beef, pork, and chicken hits $20 a lb. in the grocery stores, you will be able to buy venison at $5 a lb. from your local poacher the same way many of the believers of Ann's opinions can buy pot or drugs from their local dope dealer. The poachers will handle the problem.

KeepMHonest said...

WANTED!!!

$25,000,000,000 REWARD and a TRIP TO DISNEYLAND IN ORLANDO

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE CAPTURE -- DEAD OR ALIVE -- OF:

OSAMA BIN CRAPKILLER

(A/K/A PATHO-LIAR, COUNTY ASSASSIN,TOWNKILLER)


TIPLINE: 468-2000

4crapkiller said...

keepemhonest shouted:


"WANTED!!!

$25,000,000,000 REWARD and a TRIP TO DISNEYLAND IN ORLANDO

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE CAPTURE -- DEAD OR ALIVE -- OF:

OSAMA BIN CRAPKILLER

(A/K/A PATHO-LIAR, COUNTY ASSASSIN,TOWNKILLER)

TIPLINE: 468-2000"

4crapkiller replies:

Thank you for the high estimation of my worth in combatting "nut cases". Of course, you have the money in hand! If it took 2 cents to go around the world, you probably could not go 50 feet.

You probably just spent your last "dime" for a "nickle" bag.

Ron said...

Great stuff, Ann.

Dear Ann,

So a dear got shot through the neck and died a miserable death. What's the problem?

Signed,
Mike Vick

"... would it have been safer, easier, and more humane to call in a F&G trained tracker/hunter for, at least, a clean kill?"

Or lob off a call to the SLOPD and get them to break out a shotgun, like they did with that mountain lion a few months back.

4CK wrote:

"4. Car body repair shops depend upon them."

That's funny, and, as a country bumpkin, so true.

Whoa, 4CK's on a roll...

"... you will be able to buy venison at $5 a lb. from your local poacher the same way many of the believers of Ann's opinions can buy pot or drugs from their local dope dealer."

and;

"You probably just spent your last "dime" for a "nickle" bag. "

Nickel bag smack... great.

I'm curious to hear about the turn-out for the deer-shooting-meeting. Will it top a sewer meeting?

KeepMHonest said...

RED ALERT!

OSAMA BIN CRAPKILLER SIGHTED IN HILLY REGION ON BORDER BETWEEN SAN LUIS OBISPO AND LOS OSOS.

WARNING!

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE WITH OSAMA A/K/A "PATHO-LIAR," "COUNTY ASSASSIN," "TOWNHILLER." DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CAPTURE CRAPKILLER YOURSELF. LEAVE THE JOB TO PROFESSIONALS.

MISANTHROPIST CRAPKILLER IS FERREL, RABID AND CONSIDERED "DANGEROUS" TO ANY CIVILIZATION. WEARS SUICIDE VEST PACKED WITH SELF-LOATING AND COMMUNITY HATRED.
BOASTS EXPLOSIVE PERSONALITY DISORDER THAT MAKES AL BARROW SEEM LIKE A NIGHTENGALE.

HATRED FUELED BY HEAVY PRESCRIPTION DRUG USE: "You probably just spent your last "dime" for a "nickle" bag.

REWARD!

$25,000,000,000 REWARD and a FREE TOUR OF SLUMLORD CRAPKILLER'S LOS OSOS RENTAL DIVES.

CALL TRIBUNE TIPLINE FOR CA$H: 468-2000


Paid for by Friendly Neighborhood Watch for Unregistered Sex Offenders, County BJs and Community Roaches

Mike Green said...

Ron smart assed as usual:
"I'm curious to hear about the turn-out for the deer-shooting-meeting. Will it top a sewer meeting?"

Don't know, but I sent an invite to Field and Sream.
The more the merrier.

4crapkiller said...

To keepemhonest:

Keep it coming! You give me great ideas! But show the cash! I have two people to collect and split with me. We always get claims and promisses without substantiation from you!

"... you will be able to buy venison at $5 a lb. from your local poacher the same way many of the believers of Ann's opinions can buy pot or drugs from their local dope dealer."

Your most recent post "Red Alert" has proven the above premise, at least about the drugs and dope.

Carry on, JJJJJJOOOOOOOEEEEEY! This kind of stuff will make you famous! Whether or not you are JOOOEEEEEY, makes no difference, and I really do not know. But it definitely is "HIS" kind of snuff stuff.

4crapkiller said...

To Mike Green:

To make the meeting really popular a full of people, The world famous rock guitar player, "Kill em and grill em" will try to attend and play guitar! He will be accompanied by a bar-b-que cart and will be grilling not one but two bambis to promote his new peanut sauce for venison.

"If you feed em, they will come."

KeepMHonest said...

ATTENTION! ZOO LOVERS! WILD ANIMAL ENTHUSIASTS!!

COME AND SEE THE "BEAST OF LOS OSOS," CRAPKILLER THE HATEFUL TOWNKILLER, TRAPPED HERE IN HIS SQUARE WHITE BOX ON ANN'S BLOG. READ BUT DO NOT FEED THE BEAST. DO NOT TALK TO IT -- IT LIES ON CONTACT AND SPEAKS NO TRUTH WHATSOEVER.

COME AND SEE THE OLD COUNTY LIAR IN HIS GOVERNMENT-PAID LAIR, EARNED BY ALMOST HALF A CENTURY OF CORRUPTION ON THE JOB AND GOUGING RENTERS FOR HIS SLUMBOX APARTMENTS. SEE THE BRAINLESS WASTE LICK ITSELF TO THE BEAT OF THE COUNTY KICKBACK MACHINE, POPPING PRESCRIPTION DRUGS LIKE VITAMINS TO GIVE HIMSELF THE STRENGTH TO TERRORIZE THE COMMUNITY ONE MORE DAY!

ALL SHOULD IGNORE THIS WOUNDED BEAST, FOR HE FEEDS ON THE CREDIBILITY OF OTHERS TO SHAPE-SHIFT INTO A "RATIONAL ANIMAL," WHEN A FETID MONSTER IS ALL HE IS, EATING THE COMMUNITY'S CHILDREN LIKE POPCORN TO FEED HIS LUST FOR FLESH AND NONSTOP HATRED OF HIS NEIGHBORS.

HOMESPUN BLOGGERS OPEN HIS CAGE AT YOUR OWN RISK. IF YOU DO NOT TALK TO THE HUFFING BORE IT WILL EVENTUALLY... STOP... BREATHING.

HORROR BULLETIN -- JUST IN: A FRESH EXAMPLE OF MULTIPLE "KILLER" IDENTITIES COMMUNING WITH EACH OTHER: "You give me great ideas! But show the cash! I have two people to collect and split with me."


Paid for the Jurassic Institute to Expose Tri-W Troglodytes on the County Payroll

Mike Green said...

Ted Nugent, venison jerky and rabid journalist!

It this a great country or what!

Mike said...

If the guy wants to meet and date CK that badly, why doesn't he just shave his head and peddle up to Atascadero. Opps, he already shaved, oh well, the bike ride will still do him good.

4crapkiller said...

To keepemhonest:

Oh joy! But where is the money?
I just love to see you expose yourself. Nothing but a shortcomming. And for the world to read! Your obscene comments thrill me with joy. To all others you are "worthless" but to me you are "priceless". You certainly bring forth the best of this blog in idiocy, only excelled by the conspiricy expert!

Come on hunny hut, you can do better than your last post. Show the world your creativity! Show the world the true nature of the quality of obstructionists, their ideas, and how they love to attack when their foolishness is exposed.

If you are NOT JOOOEEY, you surely can do better. If you ARE JOOOOEEEEY, this was a pretty good effort for a "worthless" bald headed bike rider. PUT A CONDOM ON IT!

To Mike Green: Yup, it does not get any better than this.

To Mike (other than green): There is nothing I like better than exposing a pervert while they are exposing themselves. You do not need to tell me keepemhonest's posts are some of the best perversion ever written.

Must have been LSD mixed in his last bag of boo, but more likely he bought deer poop and has been smoking it, or perhaps chewing it.

After all "Many men smoke but few men chew".

Mike Green said...

Must have been LSD mixed in his last bag of boo, but more likely he bought deer poop and has been smoking it, or perhaps chewing it.

Don't forget smart pills......

They reely wurk.

Mike said...

Could also be from riding his bike to Atascadero without a seat. Ouch!

Conspiracy Boy said...

Crapkiller/Mike:

What kind of person blogs from morning till night every single day promoting everything bad the county does on every site possible?

No life? Is it Shirley? What does she do now?

Who in the world would do this? And why?

Mike said...

Hey Conspiracy Boy

What's it to you?

In fact:

Bese mi asno
Embrassez mon âne
Küssen Sie meinen Esel
Baci il mio asino
Beije meu burro

¿Comprende?

KeepMHonest said...

TownKiller,

Of course I amuse you. I am all you have left to fight in this trampled, hypnotized village.

"Your obscene comments thrill me with joy."

Of course they do. The Truth thrills you because you thought it had died with your vileness.

"To all others you are "worthless" but to me you are "priceless"."

Now you're repeating yourself. Tell me something I don't know, Tinkerbell.

"There is nothing I like better than exposing a pervert while they are exposing themselves."

Who would know that better about perversion than you, master?

"Keepemhonest's posts are some of the best perversion ever written."

Perversion is a big favorite with you, isn't it? How much do you get paid for yours? How much do you pay for it? Where do you want it? Be honest now!

Interesting how clearly we perverts, you and I (OK, you too, "Mike" and ol' Mike Green, don't feel left out) are able to communicate with each other, you, ill to the bone, calling out to me, whose name you cannot know.

Come on, let's take this town down together, you with your hatred for your community, me, with my hatred for those who hate the community and seek to destroy it by kicking out thousands of my families, brothers and sisters to pave the roads for the likes of you! Never!!

Apparently, perversion has a very limited defintion for you, TownKiller, one that does not include four-letter words. Odd, from a social liberal like you. Perversion, to you, simply means that which reflects the perversion that is...and always was...

YOU!!!


Welcome Home to the Real You

4crapkiller said...

And more brilliance from Joey. Thank you for exposing yourself.

Pretty lame. You can do even better! Surely you can name the criminals in this town. You are "worthless". Show us the money.

Nothing but fraud all the way, always, from you. Give us the solution!

KeepMHonest said...

TownKiller,

"Nothing but fraud all the way, always, from you.

Tell us everything you know about fraud, Killer of Towns. Perversion is not your only expertise.

"Give us the solution!"

The best solution for you is hemlock. In Vino Veritas.

4crapkiller said...

to Keepemhonest:

Show the money! If you are the last to fight in this town, I am glad the rest have come to their senses. You are the last idiot sewer obstructionist standing. The most ignorant of them all, and with no answers of WHY you stand.

Dingleberries!

KeepMHonest said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KeepMHonest said...

TownKiller,

My, my, I knew you were a anti-social deviant but I didn't realize just how stupid you really are.

You must be sniffing LeGros' hair gel again.


"If you are the last to fight in this town, I am glad the rest have come to their senses."

Sorry to burst your bubble, but "the rest" have come to their senses all right. The opposition to 218 is building fast and spreading wide. That's why the county moved up the dates of the 218. They're scared. But it won't work.

It's too late for the county. They screwed up from Day One. Your worst fears are about to come true.


"Surely you can name the criminals in this town."

Surely I can. R-I-C-H-A-R-D L-E-G-R-0-S, G-0-R-D-O-N H-E-N-S-L-E-Y, S-T-A-N W-H-O R-A-N, P-A-N-D-O-R-A & G-A-R-Y N-A-S-H K-A-R-N-E-R and Y-O-U (probably Legros in drag). Too many townkillers to name here -- I don't want to leave out any of the most deserving and have them mad at me.

"You are the last idiot sewer obstructionist standing. The most ignorant of them all, and with no answers of WHY you stand."

Coming from you, that's the Ultimate Compliment. You would find the CLEAR WHY in all my posts, if your perversions hadn't rotted away your few remaining brain cells, so I'll spell it out for you very simply:

I'll here just for YOU, TOWNKILLER, and RICHARD and GORDON... I'm here to make sure the 218 fails, and I think I'm doing a pretty good job. In fact, a damn good job.

So you and Richard will just have to move on and find another Town to Kill. This one is mine.

Ron said...

You guys are funny.

I'm bored, and feel like ventin'...

I wrote:

"Or lob off a call to the SLOPD and get them to break out a shotgun, like they did with that mountain lion a few months back."

You know what's always bugged me about that incident? It's that San Luis Obispo is surrounded by a ton of wildlife, including some right in town on the mountain and in the creek, and it's been surrounded by a ton of wildlife forever, and some of that wildlife finally makes its way into said town, and THAT's the plan? Have SLOPD break out a shotgun and start blasting pellets all over the neighborhood?

What? The previous 100-plus-years of SLO's existence didn't allow them the time to mix a net in to their wild-animal-in-town contingency plan?

You know what else bugs me about the blasting-mountian-lion-with-shotgun-in-a-neighborhood-by-the-SLOPD incident, is that on Congalton's radio show, spokespeople for the department said the force was necessary because the animal was running around town and could run in front of a car, and that also a school was a few blocks away, and, reasonably they didn't want to take the chance of the cat running through the school. Fair enough... I guess? I don't know, I'm no zoologist.

But the problem I have with them using that logic as rationale for blasting off a shotgun in the middle of a residential/office neighborhood and killing a defenseless wild animal, is that it's not animal specific. Apparently, because it was a mountain lion with big teeth and really sharp claws, and that makes them seem very scary, SLOPD went to the shotgun, pronto, but if you get past the "big teeth and sharp claws" part, the arguments that they used for the shotgun blasting applies to all kinds of wild animals, including, and especially, deer.

In fact, deer are much larger than mountain lions, and therefore will do a heck of a lot more damage to a car than a mountain lion, and, has anyone seen a deer run? I have, a lot, and let me tell you, they are really fast, and if one started sprinting, all spooked-like, through a school yard full of kids, it could get ugly.

So here's my question? Does the SLOPD plan on blasting off shotgun shells every time Bambi meanders down SLO Creek, when that deer starts getting close to all those same cars and kids? If we use their logic, it certainly sounds like they should.

Here's my point. Please, SLOPD, please come up with a better wild-animal-in-town-contingency plan than, "There's a wild animal in town. Where's the shotgun?" Confer with other surrounded-by-wildlife PDs, put in a call to Animal Control for advice, buy one of those things that have a long, sturdy handle and a noose on the end, mix in a really big net for God's sake... whatever it takes, but it just seems like there HAS to be a better plan.

Sewertoons said...

WOW!! The first time ever I can agree with Ron!

4crapkiller said...

If you reduce the population out of town, they will not be forced to come into town. Seems stupid to be blasting away in town. What ever happened to animal dart guns.

Knock em out and take em out to the country and release them. What the hell does animal control get paid for?

Mike Green said...

What the hell does animal control get paid for?

For the most part they get paid to take care of the brainless failures of the worst animal, namely us.

What do you think is in that pound? Lions and bears?
If idiots would just take care of their PETS I'm sure animal services would glady shoo your deer away

4crapkiller said...

To Mike Green:

You are totally correct! However as far as brainless animals, speak for yourself!

VeggieVixen said...

4crapkiller,

I'm sorry, but you have to be one of the most idiotic people I've ever heard.

1. The deer population is big as a result of us overbuilding and driving out their NATURAL predators and/or hunters killing natural predators and thereby reducing competition between males in hunting season - which results in more births.

2. I am one of those awful 'Animal Rights activists.' I understand that these are problems that we have caused - not the deer. Why should they be slaughtered because of our mistakes? If you take the time to read up on hunting, you'll see that it causes nothing but more problems. Also, humans are overpopulated right now. Would be be justified in helping to end that problem by killing them? No, we wouldn't.

3. Thank God you aren't president - "They are skinny and do not taste good. People rather eat beef, chicken, or pork. They should be hunted and fed to prisoners ( good reason to stay out of jail )."

4. "They are cute and make the area special. Sort of like sea otters. Too many people have gardens, roses, green lawns, etc. Easy pickings." What, are we supposed to kill ALL wildlife now? They don't make the area special, but they have a right to be here more than we do, seeing as how much we've screwed up already.

5.
"Since there is no hunting pressure, they are not afraid of people. However, they are afraid of people walking dogs, even little dogs. Since people are afraid of big cats and bears, there are no preditors."

I've never seen a deer that wasn't afraid of me. You aren't even logical. What does this mean "since people are afraid of big cats and bears, there are no predators"???? I thought you were FOR hunting? If people didn't hunt these predators to the point that there are too few to keep the deer population down, then we wouldn't even have what you say is a deer "problem." There isn't any predators because we are scared of them; it's because we overbuild and kill them off when they start to be a 'nuissance.' Predators and natural illnesses could take care of the population if we let it and didn't cause so much damage to the environment.

-Katie Baker
myspace.com/veg_nvixen
Lessthankatie@whale-mail.com